Flames of Desire
by RenaiPink
Summary: A Completely Inappropriate FMA Yaoi. After 2nd Lieutenant Havoc unintentionally spies on his superior officers easing stress after hours, he finds himself completely enthralled with the Colonel. Meanwhile, the Elrics keep accidentally peeping on the men as well. Edward uses this against them and gets two servants out of the deal.HavocxMustang/Some HughesxMustang/DeviousEd. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

Flames of Desire: A Completely Inappropriate FMA Yaoi

Starring: Colonel Roy Mustang

Co-Starring: Brigadier General Maes Hughes, 2nd Lieutenant Jean Havoc

With appearances by: Edward Elric, Alphonse Elric, 2nd Lt. Heymans Breda, Warrant Officer Vato Falman, Sergeant Major Kain Fuery, Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, Winry Rockbell, Major Armstrong (barely lol)

Takes place: At no REAL point in time during either series…I guess you could say it takes place just before the death of Lust in Brotherhood, but BG Hughes is still very much alive (cuz, let's face it, it'd be weird if he wasn't in this this story's case)

Notes from RenaiPink: I did my best to keep all the characters in, well, character. I have watched both FMA and FMA: Brotherhood, but I am by no means an FMA-ologist, so if you notice weird things that don't really fit with the story, don't let it bother you too much. We all know why I wrote this and we all know why you're reading it (I think) Anyway, constructive criticism is always appreciated! I want to give a special shout-out to my Beta, RenaiBlue~

Chapter 1: "The color his cheeks tint just before his eyes close."

"I can't believe I left my cigarettes in my desk," 2nd Lieutenant Jean Havoc grumbled to himself as he walked back down the long hallway to his superior's office. "Man, I really need a smoke."

"Damn it, Hughes," a voice came from the office Havoc was heading for.

"Oh, the Colonel is working late," the blonde thought and continued walking toward the office and his precious nicotine goodness.

"I'm telling you, Roy, you've really got to relax more," came a second voice.

"That sounds like Brigadier General Hughes," Havoc furrowed his brow. "His office is on the other side of Central, what's he doing here?"

"And you seem to have nothing to do, but help me relax, is that it?" came the Colonel's annoyed response.

"Geez, for the Flame Alchemist, you sure are cold," Hughes replied and Havoc could almost see the man's smirk in his voice. Cigarettes forgotten and curiosity getting the better of him, 2nd Lieutenant Jean Havoc walked closer to the partially closed office door and snuck a peek at what his superior officers were doing after hours.

"You never get any, that's probably why you're in such a damnable mood all the time," Hughes smirked as he sandwiched Colonel Mustang between himself and the Colonel's desk. "That's why it's my right, no, my duty as your best friend to ease some of your stress," he nearly purred. Havoc's jaw nearly dropped to the floor at what he saw next. The Brigadier General reached a hand behind the Colonel and cupped his ass and, instead of burning him to a pile of ash, the Colonel let out a breathy moan.

"How does your Gracia feel about all this?" Mustang asked, his face remaining stoic.

"She understands that I get in the most trouble helping others," Hughes grinned and leaned down, pulling the Colonel's uniform jacket open and kissing a hot path down the white button up shirt until he reached his goal. "It's been awhile, hasn't it?"

"Shut up," Mustang looked down and to the side, not daring to meet his friend's gaze up at him, a light pink tinting his cheeks.

"I don't judge," Hughes smiled then unbuttoned and unzipped the Colonel's pants in one motion. "I'm just here to help," and with that, the Brigadier General took his friend into his mouth.

"Haaah…" the Colonel let out a shaky breath and closed his eyes, the tint on his cheeks darkening in hue. "Maes…"

Now, at this point, 2nd Lieutenant Jean Havoc knew he should have gotten the hell out of there. Of course, his brain was not communicating with his legs, so he remained. The odd part was, he wasn't staring at what the General was doing to his superior officer's nether regions, but, instead, the blonde couldn't take his eyes away from the Colonel's face. Every breath, every moan and even the slightest twitch of an eyebrow was mesmerizing to him.

Suddenly, the Colonel's eyes opened slightly, his face now completely pink, and he let out a shaking, but very final moan as his eyes squeezed shut. Havoc had just watched his boss be pleasured to the point of release. And the blonde could not get that image out of his mind. Of course, at this moment, his brain finally made a connection with his legs and he was down the hallway and back outside before he realized it; the image of Roy Mustang's pleasure-filled face still in his mind's eye.

"Wow, you were stressed, weren't you?" Hughes asked as he zipped his friend's pants back up and patted the fly.

"Shut up, Hughes," the Colonel growled and didn't meet his eyes.

"A 'thank you' would have been nice," the Brigadier General closed his eyes and lifted his hands in the air. "Sorry for making you feel good, Roy." The Colonel said nothing. "Please excuse me for making you cum, Colonel," the General said, a little louder, which caused Mustang to meet his eyes.

"Shut up, will you?" Mustang growled again, but this time a blush stained his cheeks.

"I'll see you later, Roy," Hughes chuckled and waved as he walked out of the office, but before he disappeared, he poked his head back in, "With all that stress, you'd better hurry up and get yourself a wife!" he shouted and ducked back out just before a well-aimed wall of flame scorched the door where his head had been only a second earlier.

"Bastard," Mustang glared and walked back over to his desk.

Okay, so what did you all think? I wrote this 6 months ago, but I finally got the courage to upload it. I know that FMA is very popular and I don't want to do any of the characters any dishonor. I have the next few chapters written, but I'm going to have my Beta, RenaiBlue-chan, take a look at them again before I upload. Let me know what you think?

Oh, also, HavocxMustang is the main pairing, but...well, I had to have a little fun, ne? Just wait until the Elrics show up! (no, nothing pervy happens to them...exactly...)


	2. Chapter 2

Flames of Desire: A Completely Inappropriate FMA Yaoi

Starring: Colonel Roy Mustang

Co-Starring: Brigadier General Maes Hughes, 2nd Lieutenant Jean Havoc

With appearances by: Edward Elric, Alphonse Elric, 2nd Lt. Heymans Breda, Warrant Officer Vato Falman, Sergeant Major Kain Fuery, Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, Winry Rockbell, Major Armstrong (barely lol)

Takes place: At no REAL point in time during either series…I guess you could say it takes place just before the death of Lust in Brotherhood, but BG Hughes is still very much alive (cuz, let's face it, it'd be weird if he wasn't in this this story's case)

Notes from RenaiPink: I did my best to keep all the characters in, well, character. I have watched both FMA and FMA: Brotherhood, but I am by no means an FMA-ologist, so if you notice weird things that don't really fit with the story, don't let it bother you too much. We all know why I wrote this and we all know why you're reading it (I think) Anyway, constructive criticism is always appreciated! I want to give a special shout-out to my Beta, RenaiBlue~

* * *

Chapter 2: "I want to make him feel like that."

2nd Lieutenant Jean Havoc did not sleep that night. Well, to put it better, what little sleep he got was plagued by visions of his superior officer panting and moaning for release. So much for large, heaving breasts inspiring him...

The next morning, Havoc walked like a zombie into the office and sat down; twenty minutes late.

"Havoc," Mustang's voice came from the front of the room, "you're late." Jean made no response, but only looked at the dark-haired man. "Please see me when we break for lunch." Havoc felt like a student getting detention, but he said nothing and started on a large pile of paperwork.

"You look like shit, man," came the voice of 2nd Lieutenant Heymans Breda from the seat next to his. "Date go bad?" In all the horror and embarrassment of what had occurred the evening before, Jean had completely forgotten about his date.

"No..." the blonde replied.

"I know it sucks to hit a dry spot, but there's no use losing sleep over it," Breda slapped a large hand on his comrade's back and returned to his own monstrous pile of paperwork.

"You know," Warrant Officer Vato Falman said from across the desk, "I heard the Major's sister is single." For the first time since the evening before, something other than a blushing Mustang filled the 2nd Lieutenant's mind. A large woman, looking like Armstrong with long hair. Havoc shuddered.

"That's okay, Falman," the blonde faked a smile.

"Sir!" came Lieutenant Hawkeye's deep, but feminine voice. "What the hell happened to the door?!"

"I accidently set it on fire," came the Colonel's calm response.

"Accidently…on fire…" Riza repeated slowly. "Why I thought I could go an evening without babysitting you, I have no idea." The men in the room snickered.

Soon enough, it was time to break for lunch and all, but Havoc and Colonel Mustang left the room and headed to the Mess Hall.

"2nd Lieutenant Jean Havoc," Mustang said from his desk. His hands were folded in front of his face and his elbows were resting on the dark wood finish of the large desk. Havoc walked forward, but was staring at the spot where the Colonel's left elbow met the desk. "You were twenty minutes late this morning, care to explain?"

"Sir, I was up late last night and unable to sleep, sir!" the 2nd Lieutenant responded, gaze shifting from the elbow to a random spot on the ceiling.

"Look at me in the eye when you answer, Lieutenant," the Colonel's eyebrows drew down in frustration.

"Sir, with all due respect, I can't, sir!" the blonde swallowed.

"And why is that?" the dark-haired man shifted and rested his cheek against his left fist.

"Because every time I look at you, I can't help, but picture you naked, sir!" Havoc answered, a dark blushed adorning his features. The Colonel's face slipped off his fist and he nearly fell over in surprise. The dark-haired man's eyes narrowed.

"And why is that, Lieutenant?" he asked cautiously.

"Because," Havoc finally looked down from the ceiling a met the Colonel's eyes, "I saw what happened in here yesterday." Mustang stood up and marched over to the door, pulling it closed.

"Explain yourself, Havoc," the Colonel demanded, facing away from the now-closed door.

"I left my cigarettes in my desk and I really needed a smoke," the blonde began, "I came back to the office and when I arrived, you and the Brigadier General…"

"That's enough," Mustang swallowed and looked side to side. "Well, this is certainly a good time for you to be promoted," he began, "there are plenty of requests for Lieutenant's out in The East."

"But I don't want to leave," Havoc almost shouted and then blushed. "I…" he looked down and then back up at the Colonel, "I want to make you feel like that."

"Wha…" but the Colonel didn't get a chance to finish his question. The 2nd Lieutenant walked up to him and pushed him against the door, crushing the dark-haired man's lips in a bruising kiss.

"Colonel…please…." the blonde gasped when he finally broke the kiss. "I can't get you out of my head." The superior officer's dark eyes widened and then narrowed. He had come too far to let something like this ruin his chances of becoming the Fuhrer.

"Do as you like."

Without any hesitation, Havoc began unbuttoning the Colonel's pants. He leaned down and kissed the dark-haired man's neck while he reaching inside of his underwear. He found his prize and began to stroke it, his hand shaking.

"Roy…" the blonde moaned, but the Colonel said nothing. Havoc stopped caressing his boss to unbutton his own pants. He pushed himself against the shorter man and began rubbing both of them together. Roy felt himself harden at the new sensation.

"Shit…" Mustang gasped, surprised at how good it felt. He let his eyes slip closed and his mouth open slightly, wanton moans escaping his lips. Using his other hand, the blonde opened the Colonel's uniform shirt and ripped the buttons off his white undershirt, scorching a hot trail of kisses down the other man's neck and chest.

"G-getting close…" the Lieutenant panted. Mustang dared not to speak, afraid of how his voice might sound. Suddenly, Havoc stiffened and let out a deep moan, setting the Colonel off right after him. The two men leaned against the door, panting. "Thank you," Havoc breathed and then pulled away, a boyish grin and blush adorning his features. He reached in his pocket a pulled out a handkerchief. "Please, let me," but the Colonel cut him off.

"Dismissed," he said in a deep voice.

"But, sir, I," but again, the blonde was cut off.

"Dismissed." With that, the Lieutenant zipped his pants and walked out of the room. Mustang closed the door behind his subordinate and leaned against it, eyes closed. "Shit."

Oh my! What has the Colonel gotten himself into? Tsk tsk. Okay, this is still setting things up. I know it moved a little fast. But apparently both men haven't gotten any in a while (although, just last night Roy had SOME relief...) anyway, let me know what you think! Chapter 3 is coming soon. Then I'm really going to reconsider everything else I've written...maybe. I just want to share this with the world! Thanks again to my Beta, RenaiBlue~


	3. Chapter 3

Flames of Desire: A Completely Inappropriate FMA Yaoi

Starring: Colonel Roy Mustang

Co-Starring: Brigadier General Maes Hughes, 2nd Lieutenant Jean Havoc

With appearances by: Edward Elric, Alphonse Elric, 2nd Lt. Heymans Breda, Warrant Officer Vato Falman, Sergeant Major Kain Fuery, Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, Winry Rockbell, Major Armstrong (barely lol)

Takes place: At no REAL point in time during either series…I guess you could say it takes place just before the death of Lust in Brotherhood, but BG Hughes is still very much alive (cuz, let's face it, it'd be weird if he wasn't in this this story's case)

Notes from RenaiPink: I did my best to keep all the characters in, well, character. I have watched both FMA and FMA: Brotherhood, but I am by no means an FMA-ologist, so if you notice weird things that don't really fit with the story, don't let it bother you too much. We all know why I wrote this and we all know why you're reading it (I think) Anyway, constructive criticism is always appreciated! I want to give a special shout-out to my Beta, RenaiBlue~

* * *

Chapter 3: "Well, I know better than to leave marks."

After Mustang had a chance to catch his breath and regain his composure, he pulled his shirt closed and walked down to the showers. After pulling several all-nighters in his vicious and relentless climb to the top, he knew exactly where to go.

He washed off the 'mess' he and Havoc had made on his stomach. The warm water felt almost cold against his heated skin. It was bad enough that his best friend had to 'ease his stress' on a monthly basis, but to fool around with a subordinate was unforgivable in his eyes.

"Yo, Roy!" came the former's voice over the shower stall. "There are only two reasons for showering in the middle of the day," Roy could almost hear the giant grin in the Brigadier General's voice. "So, who's the lucky lady?" Mustang cringed.

"Any reason you're in the showers, Hughes?" the Colonel tried to bark, but his voice was missing its usual bite.

"Well, I saw my best friend running down the hallway, trying desperately to keep his ripped undershirt closed," Hughes chuckled. "I brought you an extra, by the way."

"Thanks," Mustang sighed, defeated.

"So," Hughes's voice sounded close and Roy turned to see his best friend's smiling cat-like face peering around the curtain. "You gonna tell me about it?" Hughes grinned and then opened his eyes. They widened just a hair before a smirk played at the General's lips. "Feisty, isn't she?"

"What?" Roy asked, annoyed.

"Well," Hughes pointed to the large hickey on the Colonel's clavicle, "I know that's not from me," he chuckled, "I know better than to leave marks." Roy looked down and grimaced. That was going to take some explaining. He'd have to wear his uniform buttoned up even after hours today. "So, who was it?"

"I'd rather not talk about it," Mustang sighed and stuck his head under the flow of water.

"It couldn't be little Miss Hair Barrett, could it?" Hughes pried. Roy's eyes widened. He'd forgotten about Hawkeye. She'd know something was up for sure. He'd already slipped and nearly burned the door off its hinges.

"I'm not at liberty to say," Roy turned and gave what he thought was a 'yes it's her' grin at his friend. Hughes furrowed his brow for a moment, but imagined his friend would tell him when he was ready.

"Well, I'm going to get some lunch before it's dinner time," the Brigadier General said. "I'll leave this shirt here for you." Roy nodded, even though he knew Maes couldn't see. The Colonel rested a hand against the shower stall and let the warm water run through his hair and down his face.

"How the hell am I going to get out of this one?"

Okay, this chapter was shorter than I remembered! I am so uploading chapter 4... XD It's not until later that I lost all sense of what I was writing, haha. Please let me know what you think! Thanks again to my Beta, RenaiBlue~ Again, this story IS going somewhere!


	4. Chapter 4

Flames of Desire: A Completely Inappropriate FMA Yaoi

Starring: Colonel Roy Mustang

Co-Starring: Brigadier General Maes Hughes, 2nd Lieutenant Jean Havoc

With appearances by: Edward Elric, Alphonse Elric, 2nd Lt. Heymans Breda, Warrant Officer Vato Falman, Sergeant Major Kain Fuery, Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, Winry Rockbell, Major Armstrong (barely lol)

Takes place: At no REAL point in time during either series…I guess you could say it takes place just before the death of Lust in Brotherhood, but BG Hughes is still very much alive (cuz, let's face it, it'd be weird if he wasn't in this this story's case)

Notes from RenaiPink: I did my best to keep all the characters in, well, character. I have watched both FMA and FMA: Brotherhood, but I am by no means an FMA-ologist, so if you notice weird things that don't really fit with the story, don't let it bother you too much. We all know why I wrote this and we all know why you're reading it (I think) Anyway, constructive criticism is always appreciated! I want to give a special shout-out to my Beta, RenaiBlue~

* * *

Chapter 4: "I really want to be with you…I think."

The rest of the day went off without a hitch. Mustang sat at his desk and talked on the phone with several different women. Hawkeye rolled her eyes and the rest of the crew hunkered down and did their paperwork, all except for Havoc, whose eyes never left the Colonel.

"You can stare at him all you want, but you'll have to talk to the girls themselves to get a date," 2nd Lieutenant Breda joked.

"Ha, yeah," Havoc faked a smile.

Finally, the day was over and everyone was getting ready to leave.

"Jean, will you be joining us tonight?" Sergeant Major Kain Fuery questioned.

"Yeah, it'll be really fun!" Breda clapped the taller man on the back. "Plenty o'girls there."

"I might catch up with you later," Havoc responded. There was a pregnant pause. "Uh, the Colonel needs to see me again before I leave."

"Okay, man, we'll see you later," Falman nodded and the team exited. Havoc walked to the door and shut it, turning toward the Colonel.

"Colonel Mustang," he addressed his superior officer.

"2nd Lieutenant Havoc," the Colonel responded. The dark-haired man had the whole day to think it over and he decided that perhaps using his authority was the best way to end this matter.

"Permission to speak freely, Sir?" Havoc stood straight up, arms at his sides.

"Granted," Mustang put his elbows on his desk and rested his chin on his laced fingers. Havoc let his shoulders sag as he walked to the Colonel's desk.

"About earlier," the blonde began.

"Think nothing of it, Lieutenant," the dark-haired man waved a hand in dismissal, "we all do crazy things when it's been awhile."

"No, Sir, I," but Mustang cut him off.

"I can forgive this instance so long as you say nothing," Roy paused and looked Havoc dead in the eyes, "and I mean nothing about this to anyone."

"If you want me to keep silent, I will, but, Sir…" the taller man swallowed nervously. "I can't stop thinking about it…about you."

"I think it would be better if neither one of us mentioned this again," Mustang's voice was deeper now, harsher.

"But Roy, I," Havoc was cut off once again.

"You will address me as Colonel Mustang," fire crackled around the Colonel's now-gloved hand.

"Colonel Mustang," Havoc paused and swallowed again, hands shaking, "I really want to be with you…" he licked his lips nervously, "I think."

"You think…" Mustang blinked, taken by surprise.

"I can't get you out of my head…" Havoc walked over the Colonel's desk. Mustang stood up, ready for a fight. The blonde rolled the Colonel's chair aside and sandwiched the dark-haired man between himself and the desk, much like he'd seen the Brigadier General do the evening before. "I've never felt this way about anyone…"

"Havoc…" Mustang threatened darkly.

"I know, it came as a shock to me, too," the blonde gave a lopsided grin and then his features took on a depressed visage. "Especially because I've never even dated a girl under a C-cup before!" But Havoc grew serious again. "I can't stop myself from wanting to undress, touch you and…." He paused, trying to find his courage, "Fuck you."

The Colonel was speechless. Even with his monthly attacks from Maes Hughes, it never went beyond a hand or a mouth. He wasn't even sure on how sex between two males would work.

"Havoc, I think you need to take some leave time," Mustang tried to change the subject. "I hear Xing is really nice this time of year."

"No," Havoc leaned closer to the Colonel, their foreheads touching. "I want you…right here, right now."

Lieutenant Hawkeye was just about to walk back into the office when she saw two familiar faces. Well, one familiar face and one familiar helmet.

"Lieutenant Hawkeye," came the young voice of Alphonse Elric from the large suit of armor. "How are you?"

"Hello boys," the blonde woman smiled. "How was your trip?"

"The trip was fine," Edward growled in a tired voice, "it was the Major's constant babysitting that was annoying as hell."

"Sorry to hear that," the Lieutenant chuckled.

"Anyway, is the Colonel in?" Edward smiled up at her. "We've got some news to share with him."

"Yes, he's in, but I believe he's meeting with 2nd Lieutenant Havoc at the moment," Riza said, "if you'd like, I can step in and see if he can see you now."

"That's okay, I'll just take a peek," Alphonse offered. He was tall enough to see into the window above the door. Suddenly, the large suit of armor froze. "Well, he seems busy, maybe we should come back later." He grabbed his brother and began dragging him down the hallway.

"Hey, wait a second…Al, c'mon!" Edward growled, pulling himself free. "We need to speak with the Colonel."

"Well, you two are welcome to wait here," Riza looked at her watch," I didn't realize it was so late. I'll see you two later," with that, she walked briskly down the hallway.

"Alright, let's tell the Colonel what we know," Edward walked back toward the door.

"Brother, no!" Alphonse shouted.

"Why the hell not?" the shorter brother folded his arms over his chest.

"Ah, well, it's because," Alphonse looked every which way, but at his brother.

"Whatever," Edward put his hand on the doorknob and Al stopped him.

"He's in the middle of something, Brother," the younger boy said seriously.

"Well this is important, what he's doing can wait," Ed frowned.

"No, I mean," Al sighed, "you're too short to see, but…"

"What do you mean, so short I couldn't possibly even think about talking to the Colonel because he might mistake me for a bug?!" Edward exploded.

"Brother, I didn't say anything like that," Al dropped his head. "Fine, I'll show you," before asking permission he lifted his brother up to look through the window. Ed froze and his eyes grew wide.

Colonel Mustang was, indeed, in his office and he was with 2nd Lieutenant Havoc, but what the boys saw was no ordinary meeting. The Colonel was on his back on top of his desk with his subordinate above him.

"Roy…" Havoc moaned as he slid in and out of the dark-haired man. Their clothes were in a pile on the floor next to the desk. "Shit…Roy…" he gasped.

"I told you to, ugh, call me Colonel," Mustang moaned and threw his head back. "H-harder…" he ordered.

"Only you can still give orders when another man is inside you," Havoc chuckled and then the Colonel held a gloved hand to the side of the younger man's face, fingers ready to ignite. "Where were you keeping that?"

"That's none of your concern," Mustang glared and then gasped, eyes closing and gloved hand grasping at the back of the 2nd Lieutenant's neck. "Harder, damnit…" Havoc didn't waste any time, he began pumping into the other man.

"They're…" Edward licked his suddenly very dry lips and blinked. "Al…Al, put me down." Alphonse was frozen, having seen the display as well. "Damnit, Al, put me down!" his older brother shouted.

"S-sorry, Brother," the suit of armor set his brother on the ground. "We should go."

"Yes, the Colonel is busy…" Ed blushed darker than his red jacket. The two brothers walked out of the building without saying a word. They walked through the streets of Central in silence. Then they finally made it to their military-issued hotel rooms.

"Where have you two been?" Winry put her hands on her hips. "You left me at the train station with the Major," she paused shaking her head, "claiming you had to see the Colonel with some urgent news and then…" she trailed off. Both boys were looking away from her. "What happened?"

Edward pushed past her and walked into his room, shutting the door behind him.

"The Colonel was busy, we'll talk to him later," Al explained and walked into his own room, leaving Winry alone in the hallway.

"Ed…Al…" she furrowed her brow.

"Ah, Miss Rockbell, there you are!" the Major's voice carried down the long hallway. "I believe I owe you dinner!" Before she could say a word, she was dragged down the hall.

"How were they…" Edward sat on his bed and fell backward onto the comforter. "The Colonel and…the Lieutenant, they were…" he swallowed. He reached his good hand forward and cupped his arousal through his pants. He let out a shaky breath. He was still hard from what he had seen.

"What does it feel like?" he wondered aloud. Ed unzipped his pants and breathed a sigh of relief as he eased the pressure on his arousal. "Haah…" he moaned as he slid his left hand up and down. He tried his best to remember the scene in the office. The way the Colonel's face looked when Havoc slid all the way inside him. The pink stain on the usually pale man's cheeks; the way his eyes slid closed as a moan escaped his mouth. Ed could feel himself getting closer. "C-Colonel," he gasped as he came. He put his automail arm over his eyes as he tried to catch his breath. The cool metal felt good against his heated skin. "Damn…"

(AN: Okay, I know I said his "good" hand, but I wasn't sure how to word it..."human" hand would have sounded even weirder...)

Okay, so I told you the Elrics would make an appearance! I'm trying not to be stereotypical here... Anyway, what did you all think? I hope you liked it! I know I haven't really shown an entire "scene" yet, but I'm working toward it. I really hope you like the story. I'm tempted to post chapter 5 now...gah...but I have to have RenaiBlue-beta-sama take a look at it first. I'm sure it's filled with plot-holes and spelling errors.

Anyhoo, here's to Jean and Roy's happily ever after...or something like that. Tune in next time for more drama and deliciousness!


	5. Chapter 5

Flames of Desire: A Completely Inappropriate FMA Yaoi

Starring: Colonel Roy Mustang

Co-Starring: Brigadier General Maes Hughes, 2nd Lieutenant Jean Havoc

With appearances by: Edward Elric, Alphonse Elric, 2nd Lt. Heymans Breda, Warrant Officer Vato Falman, Sergeant Major Kain Fuery, Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, Winry Rockbell, Major Armstrong (barely lol)

Takes place: At no REAL point in time during either series…I guess you could say it takes place just before the death of Lust in Brotherhood, but BG Hughes is still very much alive (cuz, let's face it, it'd be weird if he wasn't in this this story's case)

Notes from RenaiPink: There's a bit of cursing in this chapter (hey, it's M, after all) It's hard to walk the line of sexy / comical. I hope I doing okay. This is probably my favorite chapter. It's the longest, too (I think) I had a lot of fun writing it. I hope you all enjoy it! I also started separating things with the line feature. I was jumping from POV (and locations for crying out loud) and I didn't want to confuse anyone...

* * *

Chapter 5: "Where do we go from here?"

"That was…" Havoc was nearly giddy as he pulled his pants back on. "…Colonel, that was amazing," he smiled and grabbed his uniform jacket. He threw it on over his shoulders and reached into the left breast pocket, but came up empty handed. "Colonel?"

"You're going to quit smoking, Lieutenant," Mustang, now fully clothed, glared at the blonde, holding the pack of cigarettes in his gloved hand.

"I am?" Havoc looked amused, but then sobered at the other man's glare. "I am."

"Yes," Mustang crushed the pack and threw it in the trashcan by his desk. "It's like kissing an ashtray, Jean."

"Colonel, you called me-" but the dark-haired man cut him off.

"Quit smoking and then we'll talk," he crossed his arms over his chest. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yessir," Havoc tried his best to hide his big grin as he saluted his superior officer.

"Yo, Roy!" Hughes's voice drifted into the office. Havoc tried his best to hold back a glare directed at the tall man. Best friend or no, the Brigadier General had tasted his Roy first and that irked him. "Man, I hope the Colonel wasn't too hard on ya, kid," Hughes smiled so earnestly and Havoc couldn't hide a small smile.

"No, he wasn't very hard on _me_," Havoc began.

"I said you were dismissed, Lieutenant," the Colonel glared and Havoc took the hint.

"What was that all about?" Hughes said once they were alone, the door clicking shut behind him. Mustang didn't answer. "Wow, your desk is the cleanest I've ever seen it," the tall man commented and then cocked his head to the side. "Of course, that could be because all of your paperwork is on the floor…" his eyes widened. Roy could see the gears turning in his best friend's head.

"Hughes…" Mustang threatened, though it sounded more desperate than he would have liked.

"You mean, you were…with him?" for a second, shock showed on the taller man's features, but it was replaced by a sly smile. "Why, Roy, I had no idea…"

"How much will your silence cost me?" the Colonel looked defeated. Defeated and…flushed.

"Well, I'm a little jealous," Hughes pouted. "Just how far did Blondie get with you, Roy?" The Colonel placed his elbow on the desk and his head in his hand. "Did he put his mouth on you yet?"

"This isn't a slumber party, Hughes," Mustang growled.

"Further?" the Brigadier General almost looked worried. "Roy, you didn't let him…you know…" he made a circle with his finger and thumb and pushed a finger back and forth through the opening. Mustang looked away, suddenly interested in a loose thread on his uniform jacket. "No shit?" the General let his arms fall to his sides in awe.

"Hughes, not right now…" the Colonel looked anxious and the blush on his cheeks had tinted. It was then that the Brigadier General noticed the tent in his friend's uniform pants.

"Don't tell me, you let him take your virginity-" but he was cut off.

"I'm not a virgin," Roy growled.

"Not anymore," the General chuckled. "Anyway, you let him in and he didn't even get you off?"

"What?" Mustang blanched. "You can tell?" Hughes's smiled widened. Roy looked away, his voice barely audible. "It's not that he couldn't have, but I was a little…"

"Let me guess," the taller man circled around the desk and walked toward his friend, his face millimeters away. "Afraid it would hurt, cumming with something inside?" The Colonel stared up at his friend, face cold, blank, emotionless. That was all the answer Hughes needed. "Want to practice with something smaller?" Hughes wiggled a finger in front of the dark-haired man. Mustang said nothing and Hughes's smile widened.

"Maes…" the Colonel's voice sounded both wanton and annoyed. "Stop playing back there, I'm not a damn science experiment."

"I'm just amazed at how wet it is," Hughes said, not meaning it in a sexual way, but it made Mustang moan none-the-less. "That kid really knew how to prepare you, huh?" he asked as he slid a second finger into the Colonel. Roy would have corrected him, stating that Jean was merely two years his junior, but the shorter man was bent over his own desk, face rubbing against the dark wood finish. His mind was elsewhere.

"Maes…" he repeated, obviously frustrated.

"Okay, okay," Hughes said and pulled his fingers out before flipping the Colonel over onto his back. "You really have no patience, Roy." He said nothing in response. "Fine," the Brigadier General rolled his eyes. "I wonder how Blondie will deal with you." If Mustang had a retort in mind, it never made it past his lips because Hughes had chosen that moment to not only slip those fingers back in, but to take the Colonel's neglected member into his mouth.

"Maes…" Roy said again, but this time it sounded more like a plea. "Damn it…h-harder…"

* * *

"We should probably go see the Colonel now," Al said to his older brother through the door. "I'm sure they're done by now," although he couldn't feel it, he was sure the helmet had flushed.

"Yeah, we do need to report back," Ed said, opening the door. He had one arm in his jacket and was getting ready to put the other one in when he paused, a blush creeping onto his cheeks.

"You thought about it again, didn't you, Brother?" Al asked, not in a teasing tone because he, too, couldn't get the image of the 2nd Lieutenant and the Colonel out of his thoughts.

"Yeah r-right!" Edward growled. "Like I have time to waste thinking about that arrogant ass and his plaything," the shorter boy crossed his arms over his chest. "Let's just hurry up and report to the Colonel so we can get some dinner, I'm starved!"

* * *

"Roy, I've never heard you so vocal," Hughes chuckled, "What's that Lieutenant been doing to you?" A cold glare. "I'm just asking." Another long pause. "Well, I'd say let's go get dinner now, but…" both men looked down at the tent in the General's uniform pants. "If we just wait a little-" but Mustang was already in motion.

"I probably owe you at least one by now," Roy said as he unzipped his friend's pants and took his entire length into his mouth and down his throat.

"Whoa…shit…how did you…" Hughes gasped and grabbed onto the back of the Colonel's head as his back bumped into the wall behind the desk.

* * *

"I hope the Colonel is still here," Alphonse said as the brothers walked down the hallway to Mustang's office. "We did come back a day early."

"He'd better still be here," Edward growled, "and that bastard's buying us dinner for all the trouble he's put us through."

"It's not like he did that," Al paused, "it's not like he did that on purpose." Ed rolled his eyes. "He didn't know we were there, Brother."

"Yeah, well…" the shorter boy growled and crossed his arms over his chest. "Let's just get this over with…my stomach is beginning to digest itself."

"Brother, there's a mucus lining that prevents-" Edward cut his younger brother off.

"Whatever, let's just go in," the blond rolled his eyes. He reached his hand up to knock and paused. The door was open just a crack. He couldn't help himself, he peered in. Golden eyes widened. He didn't have to look behind him to know that Al had peered through the window above the door…the gasp his brother made alerted him to that fact.

* * *

"Roy…shit…" Hughes gasped. "You're good…" he moaned and then closed his eyes, his jaw clenching and his body stiffening. It was obvious what had occurred. Mustang pulled back and let his friend's member slip from his mouth. Roy tucked him back into his pants and zipped the fly before wiping his mouth on his sleeve. "Roy…how in the hell did you get so good at that?" Hughes breathed.

"It takes more than shaking hands and kissing babies to become Fuhrer, Hughes," Roy said completely deadpan. Then a smile broke out on the shorter man's face. "Let's go get some dinner, I'm starving."

"Really, after all that you just-"

"Shut up, Hughes."

* * *

"Brother…" Edward could barely hear Alphonse. It sounded like he was miles away. "Brother, we've got to move!" The blonde continued to stare at the men walking toward the door. "Brother!"

"Right," Ed said and took off down the hallway, Alphonse following right behind him. They had just made it to the stairwell when Mustang and Hughes turned the corner.

"Let's take the elevator," Mustang suggested, though it really wasn't a suggestion.

"A little too sore to walk down five flights of stairs?" Hughes poked and Edward heard the telltale crackle of the Colonel's fire. "Okay, okay, geez," the Brigadier General laughed and the two officers walked down the next hallway to the elevators.

"I guess we'll have to report back to him tomorrow," Alphonse sighed. "Brother?" Edward was completely silent and then…

"Just how many people is he doing that kind of stuff with?!" the short blonde exploded.

"Brother! Calm down!" the suit of armor tried desperately to stop his squirming brother who was practically foaming at the mouth. "Let's go get some dinner."

"Oh yeah!" Edward slammed his fist on his open palm, the Colonel's infidelity momentarily forgotten. "I could eat my weight in meat!" Alphonse chuckled at his older brother's antics.

"We should take the stairs," the taller of the two suggested. Edward nodded. They walked down the five flights to the first floor. Rather than exiting through the main doors (afraid they might run into the Colonel again) they found a side door and found themselves in an alley.

"Alright, let's see…" Edward looked around, "I think there're a few restaurants this way," he pointed. They had barely gotten two steps forward when they saw a familiar face. The man turned and walked down the alley. He didn't look up, but reached into a brown bag and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. He practically tore the outer plastic wrap off and began packing them against the palm of his hand. He lit the first cigarette he could grab.

"Lieutenant Havoc?" Alphonse asked just has the blonde solider slipped a cigarette between his lips. Blue eyes looked up as he lit the end. Those same blue eyes widened considerably.

"E-Elrics!" he gasped and shoved the cigarette into his hand to hide it, successfully burning himself in the process.

"Are you okay?" Al gasped. The Lieutenant rubbed his now-burned palm, the cigarette now smoldering on the ground next to his boot.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he peeked out of one eye. "What are you two doing here so late?"

"Well, we came to see the Colonel, but-" Al interrupted his older brother.

"He was busy," the suit of armor waved two hands in front of his chest. "We came to see him, but he was busy."

"Yeah…" Edward raised an eyebrow. "Anyway…we'll just talk to him tomorrow then."

"Understood," Havoc slipped the pack of cigarettes into his breast pocket and then got down on his hands and knees. "Please don't tell the Colonel what you saw tonight!"

"Huh?" Ed and Al said in unison. Had the Lieutenant seen the two of them when they were spying earlier?

"I promised I'd quit smoking, but I needed one more, just one more!" Jean shouted and the boys nearly fell over in shock.

"So, that's what he meant," Al whispered and Ed just laughed awkwardly.

"Your secret's safe with us, Lieutenant," Edward smiled. "But wait until you get a load of what we just saw the Colonel doing-" but Al was quicker. He placed a hand over his older brother's mouth and wrapped his other arm around the smaller boy.

"Well, we were just heading to dinner, so we'll see you tomorrow," Alphonse said quickly and ran off with his older brother in tow.

"…the Hell?" Havoc raised an eyebrow and then grabbed the pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, pulling one out with his mouth. He lit it and took a long drag. "Ah, Nicotine, ambrosia of the Gods!" he closed his eyes and savored what could be his last cigarette.

The next morning, the team dared not speak to Colonel Mustang. The officers were busily 'working' at their desks between stolen glances at the unshaven and very much hung-over Colonel.

"'Just one shot,' he said," Mustang grumbled and then winced at the pain in his head. "I could kill that Hughes…"

"Looks like he had a good time last night," Breda snickered and elbowed Havoc while pointing at the Colonel. "Speaking of which…where'd you end up?"

"I was exhausted last night," Havoc sighed. Actually, he had been up all night regretting that one cigarette…only to have another on his way into work this morning.

"Well, you missed one hell of a party," Breda laughed. "Fuery drank a bit too much and we had to carry him back to his room," the large man laughed again, but quieted down when Lieutenant Hawkeye hushed him. "Oh…" he said in a whisper, "and as we were dragging Fuery out of the bar, we saw the Colonel and Brigadier General Hughes coming in."

"What?" Havoc's eyes widened and he looked over at the Colonel who was trying desperately to will his headache away. "Are you sure?"

"Of course, you think I wouldn't recognize my own commanding officer?" Breda scoffed. "Anyway, I distinctly saw him coming in with the Brigadier General, right Falman?" The Warrant Officer nodded an affirmative and went back to his paperwork. "So, after we left…" but Havoc wasn't listening anymore. He could only stare at the Colonel. Had he done anything with the Brigadier General last night? Had the Colonel forgotten about what they had done only hours before he and Hughes had walked into that bar? He'd have to find out.

Soon, it was lunch time. Havoc stayed behind, claiming he had to ask the Colonel a question about one of the forms he had to fill out. The other soldiers were too hungry to notice anything was out of the ordinary, so they waved as they walked down to the mess hall, Fuery sluggishly picking up the rear.

"Colonel Mustang, Sir," the blonde walked up to his boss's desk.

"Not right now, Havoc…" the dark-haired man held his head. Even with the glasses of water Lieutenant Hawkeye continually brought him throughout the morning, his head was still throbbing.

"We need to talk, Sir," Havoc didn't budge.

"Fine," the Colonel sighed and leaned back in his chair, the leather squeaking slightly.

"Did yesterday mean nothing to you, Sir?" the Lieutenant asked, mouth tight and jaw clenched. Black, bloodshot eyes gazed up at him, but no reply came. "I didn't just see that as a onetime thing," Havoc continued, hoping the Colonel would say something, anything. He didn't have to wait long.

"You claim that you want to be with me," Mustang blinked slowly and then added, "you think." Havoc blushed slightly at the repeat of his awkward wording he'd used the day before.

"Yes, Sir," the Lieutenant swallowed nervously.

"Then, why, 2nd Lieutenant Jean Havoc, are you still smoking?" the Colonel rasped angrily, a glare adorning his boyish features.

"Sir, I haven't-" but Mustang cut him off.

"I am not an idiot, Jean," Mustang growled and Havoc did not like the way his name sounded coming from the Colonel's lips at that moment. "I can smell it and it's making me sick."

"Sir, I-" and Havoc was cut off once again.

"As you have probably surmised, I am just a little hung-over," Roy grabbed his head at a sudden stab of pain, "and that smoky smell is not helping my nausea."

"Sir, I…" but this time, Havoc stopped himself. He had no excuse.

"What did you do to your hand?" Roy glared at the bandage that was sloppily wrapped around the Lieutenant's hand.

"I burnt myself," the blonde said, embarrassed.

"Serves you right for disobeying me," the Colonel crossed his arms over his chest, a smile teasing the corners of his lips. "Does it hurt?" Havoc looked down at the bandage. It didn't hurt too badly.

"No, Sir," the Lieutenant answered.

"Let me see," the dark-haired man held his hand out and Havoc obediently put his hand forward.

"Thanks, Roy," the blonde smiled and then his blue eyes widened comically before squeezing shut in pain. The Colonel's thumb found the burn beneath the bandage and dug into the wound. "Shit, that hurts!"

"Idiot," Roy barked and released the younger man's hand. "No more smoking, that is an order, am I understood?"

"Understood, Sir," Havoc snatched his hand back and cradled it. "I'll be going now," the blonde said, eyes downcast, his question regarding the Brigadier General momentarily forgotten. The Lieutenant was halfway toward the door when he heard the Colonel clear his throat.

"You know what I hear is good for headaches?" the smirk was evident in his tone. Jean turned around and a smile broke out on his face.

"Yessir."

* * *

"There is no way we're going to miss the Colonel today," Edward thrust his automail arm toward the sky. "We'll check in with him, share intel and then get lunch and he's buying!"

"Brother…" Alphonse shook his head. "We have plenty of money."

"I don't care," Ed growled. "That womanizing," but the shorter boy paused, "um..manizing?" Alphonse shrugged. "That slut owes us for making us come out here twice for no reason!"

"That's not very nice, Brother," but Al sighed, there was nothing he could do to stop his brother from getting his way. "I guess I can add more food to my list," he took out his log book.

"That's the spirit!" Ed beamed and slapped his younger brother on the back, making a loud echoing bang. "Sorry…"

* * *

"You're not going to get any better at this if you just stare at it," Mustang mocked, a blush adorning his features.

"I can't help it," Havoc smirked, "I just want to drink you all in," blue eyes met black, "no pun intended." Roy rolled his eyes, but then let them drift closed as the blonde took him into his mouth.

"Jean…" he breathed. "Use your tongue more…"

"Always the boss, aren't you?" the Lieutenant released him. "I think I want to do something else…"

"What?" Mustang furrowed his brow and then gasped when the blonde took him in one stroke. "Shit…Havoc…damn!"

"I thought you were going to call me Jean, Roy…" the younger man teased. The Colonel opened his eyes and did his best to glare through his own lustful gaze.

"And I thought I told you to call me, Colonel, Lieutenant…" the dark-haired man countered.

"God Damn it, that is enough!" a very short and very angry blonde burst into the office. "Don't you people do any work around here?!" Havoc and Mustang were frozen, eyes wide, heads turned toward the intruder. "Now, finish up and debrief us!"

There was a crash, a bang, a strangled yelp and then…

"I told you not to go barging in there, Brother," Alphonse said moments later. His older brother looked rather disheveled, but that was probably because he was literally kicked out of the office by two very angry (and not to mention, very naked) soldiers. Edward mumbled. "What?" Al asked and then noticed the small fire burning on the tip of his older brother's bangs.

"Damn Colonel…" but Edward sounded more defeated than angry. Almost frustrated.

* * *

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit-" Havoc repeated over and over again.

"Well, FullMetal knows about us…" Mustang thought aloud.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit-" the Lieutenant continued, clutching his knees to his chest, still naked…which was pretty comical to Roy even in that moment.

"Havoc?" the dark-haired man raised an eyebrow.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit-" the blonde squeezed his eyes shut.

"Jean?" the Colonel nearly chuckled, a smile ghosting over his lips. "Pull yourself together, Soldier!" he shouted and slapped the taller man across the face.

"Colonel," the blonde sounded scared. "We are in SO much trouble." Mustang rolled his eyes. "I'm going to be Court-Martialed…Court-Martialed!" The taller man stood up and began pacing around the office. "And you," he pointed to Roy, "your dreams! Your ambition!"

"Calm down, Havoc," Roy shook his head. "FullMetal is…merely a speed bump," he grinned, "I'm sure we can persuade him to keep quiet." Jean looked up at him, obviously confused, "he's still eavesdropping outside the door after all," he pointed a thumb over his shoulder. At this point, Roy would have liked to have seen a sly smile make its way onto the 2nd Lieutenant's face, but Jean's face only showed confusion. "Follow my lead."

* * *

Oh, goodness! What will happen next? XD Okay, this is where I started having fragmented thoughts...so Chapter 6 may take a bit longer to come out. I'm just happy to be writing this story again! This has literally (well, can electronic things be literally anything?) well, it's been just sitting on my desktop needing editing for six months...orz Anyway, I hope you all like it so far!

**My favorite part:** "God Damn it, that is enough!" a very short and very angry blonde burst into the office. "Don't you people do any work around here?!" Havoc and Mustang were frozen, eyes wide, heads turned toward the intruder. "Now, finish up and debrief us!"


	6. Chapter 6

Flames of Desire: A Completely Inappropriate FMA Yaoi

Starring: Colonel Roy Mustang

Co-Starring: Brigadier General Maes Hughes, 2nd Lieutenant Jean Havoc

With appearances by: Edward Elric, Alphonse Elric, 2nd Lt. Heymans Breda, Warrant Officer Vato Falman, Sergeant Major Kain Fuery, Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, Winry Rockbell, Major Armstrong (barely lol)

Takes place: At no REAL point in time during either series…I guess you could say it takes place just before the death of Lust in Brotherhood, but BG Hughes is still very much alive (cuz, let's face it, it'd be weird if he wasn't in this this story's case)

Notes from RenaiPink: Oh man...RenaiBlue is going to kill me, lol. I keep telling her to re-Beta things (she originally read this 6 months ago) and I keep editing chapters myself and posting them. I can't help it~ Anyway, I PROMISED her Chapter 7. That's actually what I thought was coming up...I forgot that Chapter 6 was just a quick wrap-up of Chapter 5 (like that chapter could have gotten any longer...) Anyway, this chapter involves a very devious Edward.

* * *

Chapter 6: "Let's Make a Deal"

"Brother, maybe we should go," Alphonse said after a few minutes of silence. The older of the two did not respond. "Brother?"

"Go ahead."

"What?" the suit of armor leaned closer.

"Go ahead," Edward said again, not looking up from the cool marble floor of the hallway. "I'll catch up with you later on."

"But brother-" Al began, but he was cut off.

"I just need to be alone for a little bit," the blonde sighed. Alphonse nodded and stood up.

"I'll see you at the hotel, brother," Al said, but Edward did not respond. Al sighed and walked down the hallway to the stairs. It always amazed Edward how quite the large, metal suit of armor could be. The blonde sighed and leaned his head against the door. He didn't know why it bothered him so much. The Colonel was a grown man and could do whatever he wanted with whomever he wanted.

"It's not like I like him or anything," Edward mumbled to himself. He didn't like him. He just…really liked the way he looked during sex. That was all. It looked like it felt really good. Really good. Edward blushed as he remembered the look on the Colonel's face when the 2nd Lieutenant entered him. "Damn it!" he all, but yelled and then covered his mouth. "This is really starting to piss me off," he growled under his breath. It was then that he heard the voices on the other side of the door. They were muffled before, but it seemed as though Mustang and Havoc had moved closer.

"Colonel, I'm not sure how to handle this," Havoc's voice sounded nervous.

"I'm telling you, Havoc, FullMetal is a reasonable man," came the Colonel's reply. 'Man,' echoed over and over in Edward's head. He liked the sound of that. He was so tired of everyone calling him a kid all the time. He was nearly sixteen for goodness' sake.

"I suppose you're right," Havoc's voice didn't sound as shaky.

"We just have to make a deal with him so he won't tell anyone," Mustang's voice came again. Edward smiled to himself, getting a very wicked idea.

"Do you think this will work?" Havoc whispered to Mustang on the other side of the door. "Do you think he'll keep quiet?"

"I'm positive," Roy smiled. "If I know FullMetal, he'll burst through that door and demand free lunch and dinner for the next month." The Colonel chuckled. "Of course, he'll pick the most expensive places, but that's fine." Then Roy raised his voice so Edward could hear, "I just hope he hasn't gone home yet." He looked toward Havoc and mouthed 'Three…Two…One…'

"Alright you two!" the blonde burst into the room. Edward was surprised to see that the two men were fully dressed, but he must have been sitting in the hallway longer than he thought. "I know your little secret and if you want me to stay quiet, you're going to have to pay up, big time!" he shouted and then blushed. Havoc looked toward the Colonel with furrowed brows, but he couldn't catch the dark-haired man's gaze.

"Oh?" Roy cocked his head to the side, his eyes slipping closed into fox-like slits. Edward nodded and then closed the door behind him. "And just how many meals-" but Mustang was cut-off.

"Let me in your club," the blonde said, still blushing and looking at the ground in front of him.

"Excuse me?" the Colonel's brows furrowed. The dark-haired man racked his brain, but he couldn't think of any eateries that were exclusive. "What club?"

"The club that you, the 2nd Lieutenant and the Brigadier General are in," Edward finally looked up. "I want to feel good, too, ya know," it was times like this that the state alchemist really acted like a child. Roy turned to Havoc, but there was no silent communication to be had, the older blonde's eyes were wide and his mouth was agape.

"Excuse me?" Roy asked, his voice cracking just a little bit. Edward saw his opening. He now had control of the room.

"I'm just saying," the short blonde began to walk around the room, fingers trailing over the shelves and the dusty books they contained. He was walking slowly, deliberately. "I mean, I saw what the three of you have been doing and it looks like fun," he looked over his shoulder at the older men, "so, let me join in on your little after-school activities and I promise I won't tell anyone what we've seen."

"That's insane!" Havoc exploded, but his face didn't show anger, he looked terrified. "You're a minor! We couldn't possibly!" He turned toward Mustang for backup. Edward looked from the tall blonde to the dark-haired colonel.

"Well?" the blonde smiled, lids partially closing over golden eyes.

"Absolutely not," the Colonel nearly growled. He would not be blackmailed. This sort of thing was completely absurd.

"Well," Edward crossed his arms over his chest. "I suppose you'll be in quite a bit of trouble, won't you?" The two men looked at each other briefly and then back at the teenager. "I mean, honestly," he took off his signature red jacket, "taking advantage of a poor, confused underage boy," he reached for the hem of his shirt. "That's the sort of thing that will get you court-martialed, isn't it?"

"What are you saying?" Mustang asked. "I just said that we would not-"

"Ya see, that's what I'm getting at, Colonel," Edward lowered his shirt back down. "If you guys don't let me in your little club, I'm going to tell everyone about how you two perverts caught me watching and took advantage of me."

"But we didn't!" Havoc yelled, wide eyed.

"Duh," Edward rolled his eyes. He turned toward Mustang. "Is he some kind of an idiot?"

"Please ignore him, he's in nicotine withdrawal," Roy said, shaking his head. "FullMetal, I don't think you know what you're asking for."

"But I do, Colonel," Edward purred. "And, you're lucky, I'm in a very generous mood right now," the blonde grinned. "How about this?" he walked toward Havoc and the other men both froze. "The two of you do anything I ask…," he paused, "for the foreseeable future, and I'll reconsider you adding me into your little group, okay?" He turned and walked toward the door, picking up his discarded jacket. "Maybe." The two men didn't get a chance to reply before the short blonde had left the room.

"Shit shit shit shit shit shit-" Havoc began his panicked rant again.

"Well, that didn't turn out as planned," Mustang rubbed his chin.

"This is great, just great!" the 2nd Lieutenant threw his arms in the air. "He'll just want free dinner," the blonde mimicked. "Now we're stuck doing whatever he wants and who knows when he'll cash in on…you know…" he blushed. "And, more importantly," Havoc began and Roy raised an eyebrow. "You're still doing things with the Brigadier General!"

"Not now, Havoc," the dark-haired man rubbed his temples in annoyance.

"If not now, when?" the taller man walked across the room to his lover. "Am I not enough for you?" Roy looked into his eyes and saw hurt…shame…sadness. He didn't answer. "Is my body not enough for you?" Still silence. The blonde sighed. "I need a smoke."

"You idiot," Mustang growled and jumped the blonde.

* * *

Ah, it pulls at the heartstrings! Okay, this probably should have been the end of Chapter 5...but if that chapter got any longer...*sigh*

Anyway, I hope you like where this is going! Edward is a naughty little boy, isn't he? Tsk tsk...how will Roy and Jean get out of this one? Stay tuned for the next installment of Flames of Desire~


	7. Chapter 7

Flames of Desire: A Completely Inappropriate FMA Yaoi

Starring: Colonel Roy Mustang, 2nd Lieutenant Jean Havoc (Jean has made it to "starring" status!)

Co-Starring: Brigadier General Maes Hughes, Edward Elric

With appearances by: Alphonse Elric, 2nd Lt. Heymans Breda, Warrant Officer Vato Falman, Sergeant Major Kain Fuery, Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, Winry Rockbell, Major Armstrong

Takes place: At no REAL point in time during either series…

Notes from RenaiPink: Okay, so this chapter is very...anime-y. But it makes me laugh. Edward is so evil! Also, my favorite scene so far (well, until later chapters...) is in this: Havoc going into severe nicotine-withdrawl~ This chapter is probably rated T at best...maybe K+...but I promise you that good things are coming in the next chapters...

* * *

Chapter 7: "The Master's Dogs"

The following morning the Colonel was sore, but satisfied. Although his attack on Havoc had been postponed by the rest of the crew returning from lunch, they had finished their 'business' after hours. He had finally let himself go with the 2nd Lieutenant and it was amazing. He smiled for a few blissful seconds before he remembered what else had transpired the day before. FullMetal knew about them…about him…and he was going to use that information against him.

The drive to work was too short. He need more time to think. Suddenly, he was behind his desk and Hawkeye was handing him a giant pile of papers.

"These need to be completed yesterday, Sir," she said in her deep, no-nonsense voice. "Also," she added, "the Elrics are here to see you." Mustang shuddered against his own will. If Riza had seen it, she did not show any inkling.

"Good morning, crew!" Edward kicked the door open with a black boot. Alphonse followed behind him, quietly. "Hiya Havoc," he grinned and then walked toward the Colonel's desk. "Good morning, Colonel," he purred and leaned against the desk with one arm, pulling a piece of paper out of his pocket with the other. He stood up and thrust the paper in the Colonel's direction. "Our report."

"Yes, thank you," Roy said in a monotone and reached for the paper. Edward opened his hand and dropped the paper on the ground.

"Oops, clumsy me," he batted his eyelashes.

"I've got it!" Havoc lunged and began to crawl forward toward the paper.

"No, Lieutenant," Edward held his hand out. "The Colonel is going to pick it up for me." So this was how it was going to be. Edward was going to toy with them. Make them do his bidding. Humiliate them until he finally got what he wanted.

"Ah, yes, of course," Mustang gave a fake smile. He stood up from his desk and retrieved the paper. Alphonse remained motionless, not saying a word.

"Well, then, I guess we'll see you later," the short blonde waved as he turned around and headed toward the door. "Lunch, Colonel?"

"Of course, FullMetal, I owe you one, don't I?" the dark-haired man forced a smile.

"See you then," with that, the short boy ushered his metal companion out and closed the door. Everyone save for Havoc turned toward the Colonel with eyes wide. Even Riza had stopped her filing to study her superior officer.

"What?" Mustang frowned. "Back to work, these papers aren't going to fill themselves out," he barked and they got back to work, sneaking glances every once in a while until lunch.

Lunch was miserable. Somehow Havoc got roped into it and the entire time Edward made outlandish requests. Desserts that the mess hall did not have in stock. Havoc must have run to every bakery in Central. But, once it was over, the older men returned to the safety of their office.

"So, ya comin' out with us tonight?" Breda asked Havoc once the Colonel was distracted with a phone call.

"Not tonight," the blonde looked exhausted.

"Geez, you never come out with us anymore," the larger man shook his head. "You got a steady girlfriend or something?"

"Something like that," the blonde let himself smile for the first time that day. His thoughts drifted to the night before. The way the Colonel's naked body felt against his. The tight sensation of the dark-haired man finding his release. The delicious scent that was Roy filling his nostrils.

"Oi, you still with us?" Breda waved a hand in front of Havoc's face. "She must be some looker," he guffawed and then whispered when Hawkeye 'shh'ed from across the room. "Good for you, man."

"Thanks," Havoc blushed. His world was perfect. He had Roy and no sexually-curious teenage prodigy was going to stand in his way.

* * *

Two weeks. Two solid weeks had gone by since Edward's proclamation. The things he had made the Colonel and 2nd Lieutenant do were completely and utterly…uncool. Havoc sighed as he looked down at his attire. How the blonde alchemist was able to find a women's uniform in his size was beyond him.

"I'm getting too old for this," he sighed. At this moment, he was on a mission. "Just walk from one end of Central to the other," Havoc quoted his tiny tormentor. "That's just great, except he's got me in heels!" he yelled and then covered his mouth when two passersby looked his way. He could only imagine how he looked in the rather unflattering female uniform, black heels and a cheap blonde wig that he only assumed the alchemist had created from hay.

"It was sure nice of the Colonel to give us extra time for lunch today," Havoc froze when he heard Fuery's voice.

"Yeah, but I think it had something to do with FullMetal," Falman rubbed his chin. "He's sure been acting strange, hasn't he?" He paused. "The Colonel, I mean."

"Well, maybe he lost a bet to the kid or something," Breda stretched his arms over his head. "Either way, I'm starving and we've walked far enough, let's eat," he rubbed his hands together. Havoc was frozen in his spot. Luckily, he had the cover of a partial wall between himself and the three soldiers. If any of them saw him now, he'd never hear the end of it.

"It doesn't seem right eating without Havoc," Fuery said as they walked to a food cart. "He's missed lunch with us almost every day for two weeks now."

"The Colonel's been sending him on special missions," Breda shrugged. "Weird, but it wouldn't be the first time," he paused, "maybe he lost a bet to the Colonel," he laughed and the others joined.

"Very funny, you bastards," Havoc growled under his breath. "Laugh it up," he frowned. "Once I get back to the office, I'm going to punch Heymans in the face!" he thrust his fist into the air and nearly hit a man walking by. "Oh, I'm terribly sorry," he said in a higher voice.

"Not a problem, miss," the voice was deep, jovial…familiar. "But, if you'd like to repay me, I'd love to take you out to lunch." Havoc turned around slowly. "Please allow me to escort you through this dangerous city!" on the last word, the tall man ripped his shirt off, revealing an incredibly built chest, muscles rippling.

"M-Major Armstrong?" Havoc's voice cracked.

"Ah, have we met before?" the large man asked as he flexed his biceps, pink sparkles seemed to dance around him.

"Uh, no," he raised his voice higher again.

"Could it be that my reputation precedes me, then?" Armstrong grabbed Havoc by the shoulders. "You know me, but please tell me your name."

"Jean…uh," he pause and cleared his throat, "Jeanette."

"Ah, Miss Jeanette, please allow me to buy your lunch," before he could answer, Armstrong was already dragging him toward a restaurant that was, thankfully, nowhere near the food cart at which the other soldiers were currently purveying. Seeing no way out of this without revealing himself, he agreed.

"Sure, Major," Havoc responded.

"Please, call me Alex," he said pulling Havoc into the café.

_ Sometime later…_

"Lunch was great!" Falman said as he sat back down at his desk. "That food cart was really good." Fuery nodded and patted his stomach.

"It's hard to find authentic Xingese food in Central," the bespectacled soldier said matter-of-factly. Suddenly, the door to the office opened and a very tired and irritated-looking Havoc walked in. He was back in his usual uniform.

"Yo, Jean," Breda stifled a laugh, "where the Hell have you been, man?" the redhead asked, but instead of an answer, Havoc just punched him in the jaw. Breda fell to the ground with a thud. "What the Hell?"

"I need a smoke," the tall blonde mumbled as he sat at his desk, the faint ghost of a hickey showed just above his uniform collar. If any of the soldiers had seen it, they didn't say a word. Breda stood back up and sat back in his seat, not daring to speak to his best friend.

* * *

Armstrong lay in the alley behind the restaurant; a huge smile on his face and a giant, burning red hand-print on his cheek. "What a woman!"

(AN: Okay, I promise I'll stop making it so anime-y…I'll get back to the good stuff)

* * *

The Colonel sat at his desk staring at the pile of papers in front of him that refused to fill themselves out. He sighed and rested his cheek against his fist. He had missed the violent display that occurred just moments ago in the office as he was busy running an errand of his own.

FullMetal had requested that everyone in the office get a long lunch (mostly because he wanted Mustang to get him authentic Xingese food) Luckily, Roy had found a cart with the perfect spread. When questioned by his subordinates, he simply said he felt like Xingese. That was normal, right? He'd nearly been dragged to lunch by the towering Armstrong, but when he turned back around, the big oaf was dragging some poor, defenseless (albeit extremely tall) female solider into the restaurant. Dodged that bullet.

Now that lunch was over, he had to catch up on his work. He side-eyed the paperwork and groaned. For a second, he almost wished that FullMetal would come back and make another outlandish request, just so he didn't have to do any more work. Hawkeye, seeming to have sensed his silent prayer, shot him a 'do that paperwork or die' glare from across the room. Roy sighed and took the first form off of the foot-high stack.

Havoc was shifting uncomfortably in his seat. It had been two weeks since he'd last had a cigarette. Two weeks. Well, not exactly…he had, of course, snuck a puff or two here or there…but FullMetal had done a pretty good job of distracting him and Roy, well, Roy had done a damn good job of distracting him. But right now, the only thing he wanted more than the Colonel naked before him was one, sweet, nicotine-filled puff of a cigarette.

Jean looked side to side to ensure that no one was looking. He reached under his desk to get his secret stash of cigs, but his long fingers merely brushed against the tape that had previously secured the pack to his desk's underside. He furrowed his brow. He was sure he hadn't used the whole pack yet. He'd only snuck out to smoke a few times.

"Colonel," he stood up. The dark-haired man looked up from his paperwork. "May I be excused to use the facilities, sir?" Mustang waved his hand in dismissal. The older man was too busy trying to get his work done before his female subordinate tore him a new one.

Havoc made his way down the hallway. He went down two floors to the third floor men's restroom. This was not the closest, not by a long-shot, but he was on a mission. He went into the fourth stall on the right and lifted the lid off of the tank. His blue eyes widened. There was no secret stash there either. There was only a plastic bag which once contained a pack of cigarettes. He growled in the back of his throat. There was no way he had finished off that pack, too.

This was getting serious. The fourth floor open office where he'd hidden a pack behind a ceiling tile: empty. The eighth shelf back in the library which contained a hollowed-out book for stashing cigs: nothing. Finally, he had one last place to look. He climbed the steps up to the roof. He had hidden a pack behind one of the pipes. He walked over to it and just as he got his hopes up, he spotted black tape with nothing to hold up. His last hope…was gone.

"Looking for these?" a teasing voice called from behind him. Havoc gasped and turned around. Edward Elric was sitting on the next pipe over, holding five packs of cigarettes. "Now, now, Havoc, what would the Colonel think if he saw you smoking?" Edward didn't know what reaction to expect from Havoc, but what he got was certainly not it.

"Why?" the older man was almost in tears. "Why would you take them?" Edward's eyes widened.

"Um, cuz I'm torturing you two?" he raised a golden eyebrow.

"You can dress me up like a woman, send me on errands all over town, but for the love of Truth and all that is holy, do not take my cigarettes!" Havoc lunged at the boy, who just barley dodged him. Edward clutched the precious packs to his chest.

"You know," Edward said as he gracefully dodged the other man, "I'm actually helping you," he moved out of the way again. He expected the attacks now. "If you had quit two weeks ago, like you were supposed to, you probably wouldn't need these."

"But I do," Havoc panted, hands on his knees. He couldn't go on charging at the alchemist forever. He held out a hand, "So, if you'd just hand me one pack, I swear I'll quit tomorrow."

"Oh, sure, I believe that," Edward rolled his eyes. "Listen, Havoc, think of this as me doing you a favor, okay?" He grinned, nearing the edge of the building. "Now you can quit, cold turkey," he gave the older man a wide smile as he tossed the packs over the ledge.

"Nooooooo!" Jean ran after them and nearly threw himself off the building. He reached out in vain as the packs plummeted toward the ground. He pulled himself away from the edge and turned around, dropping to the ground and letting his head fall back against the brick. He stared up into the cruel blue sky. Even the sun seemed to laugh at him. He closed his eyes, defeated.

"You know what's even better than a cigarette?" Edward's teasing voice sounded much closer now. Havoc opened his eyes just as the younger blonde straddled his hips. Blue eyes widened considerably.

"No way," Havoc tried to sound firm, but it was hard. He was having a bad day.

"Aww, c'mon," the alchemist cocked his head to the side and wrapped his arms around the older man's neck. "Would it really be that awful?" Edward knew that, of the three men, Havoc was the weakest. Not physically, no, but mentally and will-power…ly. Ed furrowed his brow, unsure if will-powerly was a word. Havoc grabbed the younger man's shoulders and pushed him back.

"FullMetal," he sighed, "I'm not sure if you even know what you're trying to get yourself into." Edward pouted. "I know what you saw looked…well…believe me, I know exactly what went through your mind," he chuckled, "but Roy and I are grown-ups and we know what we're doing."

"Oh, really?" Edward crossed his arms over his chest. He did not like to be told that he 'didn't know what he was doing' and he did not like to be referred as 'not a grown-up.' "And just what are you doing?"

"Falling in love," Havoc said dreamily and then covered his mouth. The older blonde turned a deep shade of red and Edward stifled a chuckle. "What I meant to say was," Jean stuttered.

"Hey, I get it," the alchemist stood up and began to walk away. "Listen, you guys are free for the rest of the night," he turned back toward Havoc and smirked, "but I'll be back with more demands tomorrow." Jean wasn't sure if he should be grateful or not. "Oh, and Havoc," Edward threw something toward him and the Lieutenant caught it without thinking. "That's a little present from me, okay?" The younger blonde waved as he walked through the door back into the building.

"What?" Jean opened his hands and saw the most beautiful thing in the world: a cigarette. He silently praised his 'master' and put the delectable morsel to his lips. He reached into his pocket and came up empty-handed. He patted his chest, searching for anything hidden in a secret pocket. He let his head fall back against the brick wall. "I don't have a light…"

* * *

ReinaiPink: Hehe, I'm so evil to my poor, poor Havoc! I hope you guys like how this is going so far. So for the overly-anime part with Armstrong, but it just made me laugh, haha. Ah, always the comic relief. Anyway, I have this story completely finished now (three more chapters - though two are verrrry long) I'm just waiting for reviews from RenaiBlue-chan~ I'll be updating again soon! I hope you all enjoy!


	8. Chapter 8

Flames of Desire: A Completely Inappropriate FMA Yaoi

Starring: Colonel Roy Mustang, 2nd Lieutenant Jean Havoc (Jean has made it to "starring" status!)

Co-Starring: Brigadier General Maes Hughes, Edward Elric

With appearances by: Alphonse Elric, 2nd Lt. Heymans Breda, Warrant Officer Vato Falman, Sergeant Major Kain Fuery, Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, Winry Rockbell, Major Armstrong

Takes place: At no REAL point in time during either series…

Notes from RenaiPink: What..**.they finally have sex** in this chapter? Is that right? Yes, yes, I know I've SAID that Roy and Jean have had sex, but they actually HAVE it on camera (well...can you say "on camera" if you mean "in a fan fic?") Anyway, I hope you all enjoy! This chapter is BY FAR the longest at nearly 5,000 words. I'm sorry! I was going to split it up, but...ah, whatever!

* * *

Chapter 8: "Slip-ups"

Havoc whimpered and closed his eyes. He sucked pathetically at the unlit cigarette between his lips. He just needed a smoke. He'd walked across Central dressed as a woman. He'd gone on a lunch date with the Major. And, he'd very nearly been assaulted by the state's youngest alchemist. He just wanted a puff.

"Need a light?" Havoc's eyes shot open. He knew that voice. He slowly lowered his head until it was level. He gulped and the cigarette nearly fell out of his mouth.

"Oh, hey, Roy," he swallowed again. "I know what this looks like."

"Oh, do you, now?" the Colonel crossed his arms over his chest. "Let me tell you what it looks like to me," he walked toward him, letting the door close behind him. "It looks like my lover sneaked out during a very busy workday, under the pretense of needing to use the restroom, only to sneak his way up to the roof to smoke, a habit of which I have strictly forbidden him from doing." Roy leaned down, resting his palms against the bricks on either side of Jean's head. Their faces were mere millimeters apart. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

"You consider me to be your lover?" the blonde grinned from ear-to-ear. Although they had spent several evenings together, Roy had never once said that they were lovers.

"That's what you got out of all of that?" the dark-haired man was incredulous. Havoc took the unlit cigarette out of his mouth and shoved it in his breast pocket. He leaned forward and kissed the older man.

"Yup," he grinned.

"Colonel Roy Mustang!" a deep, yet feminine voice called.

"Shit," Roy looked over his shoulder, just in time to see the door to roof opening. "Hide!" he pulled Havoc up and pushed him behind one of the larger pipes.

"Where did he go?" Riza Hawkeye walked right to where they had been only moments earlier. "I swear I saw him come up here," she growled. "Roy, if you're up here, you'd better get your ass back in that office and finish your paperwork!" she shouted. She seemed to give up after that and walked back into the building.

"Looks like you sneaked away, too," Havoc chuckled. In their hurry to hide from Hawkeye, the men had thrown themselves behind the pipe. Roy was on top. "You're going to hear it when you get back down there," Jean laughed again. Roy could feel the taller man's chest vibrate against his.

"Shouldn't you be more worried about yourself?" Mustang countered. "You completely abandoned your duties today," he pushed himself up, a hand on either side of his lover's face. "I could have you demoted."

"You wouldn't dare," Jean joked, but his eyes showed a bit of nervousness. Roy's black eyes softened. It had been a few days since they'd last…

"You're right," Roy leaned in and kissed the blonde. "But I'm still pissed at you," he said when he pulled away. "You deliberately disobeyed me," he glared, "how long has this been going on?" Havoc leaned forward and kissed him again. "You're not getting off the hook that easily, Jean," but the shorter man moaned when Havoc grabbed his ass and pushed their hips together.

"Punish me later," the blonde breathed against his ear. "Right now, I need you," he ground out as he rolled their hips together again. The Colonel stifled a moan, but didn't argue.

(AN: Not yet! It's later, keep reading!)

* * *

"Brother, where have you been?" Alphonse asked when his Edward returned to the hotel.

"I was off visiting the Colonel and his associates," Ed raised his arms over his head and stretched.

"Why have you been bothering them so much?" Al sounded suspicious. "You haven't been bugging them about what we walked in on, have you?"

"Maybe I have," the shorter brother winked an eye.

"Brother, we've already embarrassed them enough, can't you leave it be?" the suit of armor shook his head.

"No I can't," Ed stuck his tongue out. "Besides, it's fun! You should try it!"

"No, thank you," Alphonse crossed his arms. "And you should stop bothering them, too."

"Whatever," Ed rolled his eyes. "Anyway, I gave them the night off."

"The night off?" Al cocked his head to the side, but Edward ignored his question.

"Let's go get some lunch, I'm starving," the elder beamed and Al sighed heavily, following his brother down the hallway.

* * *

Another week had passed. FullMetal had made more and more outlandish requests and the Colonel and the 2nd Lieutenant had no choice, but to acquiesce. Roy had just finished a Central-wide trip to every book shop looking for something which he, after visiting the fifteenth shop, had found out did not even exist. He slumped down into his chair and sighed.

"Damn brat," he growled deep in his throat. It had been a week since he and Havoc had last been intimate and he was getting a little frustrated. It was as if FullMetal was making requests solely the keep the lovers apart. It was aggravating.

"Honey, I'm home!" a familiar voice called from the doorway.

"Thank goodness," Roy breathed and leaned his head back, closing his eyes.

"Are you actually that happy to see me?" the deep voice chuckled.

"I'm just glad you're not FullMetal, Hughes," Mustang smiled, but didn't open his eyes.

"I haven't seen you in weeks, Roy," the Brigadier General was behind him now. He rested his hands on the shorter man's shoulders and began to rub his thumbs in lazy circles.

"Ah, that feels good," Roy opened his onyx eyes and looked up at Maes.

"You've been neglecting me, Roy," Maes pouted and the Colonel rolled his eyes.

"Have I now?" he looked down, stretching his sore neck and hissed when the General found a particularly tight spot.

"Ever since you got that blonde kid wrapped around your finger, you haven't come to visit me at all," he stopped massaging the Colonel and walked around to the front of the desk, so they were facing each other.

"He's not a kid," Mustang leaned forward on his elbows.

"Yes, I suppose kids don't do those sorts of things, do they?" Hughes smirked. The Colonel rolled his eyes.

"Is there something that you wanted, Brigadier General?" he rubbed his temples.

"So cold," Maes pouted. "And to think that only weeks ago you had my-"

"That's enough, Hughes," Mustang did not like to be teased and Hughes seemed to know all the right buttons to push.

"I've been replaced," Maes said dramatically. "Years of pleasuring you and now I've been replaced by a new model."

"It's not like that," Roy countered.

"I'm just a little jealous, I guess," the General leaned against the desk, so their faces were close. "All that time, I got to play with you, but you never once let me…you know…"

"And?" Mustang said flatly.

"Well, I'm just wondering why you let Blondie, but you've never let me," he adjusted his glasses. "I know it's not that I lacked the skill."

"What are you getting at, Hughes?" the shorter man's headache was worsening.

"C'mon, Roy," he lifted the Colonel's chin so they were looking eye-to-eye. "Let me do it just once."

"Just once?" Mustang pouted and a large grin broke out on Hughes' face.

* * *

Havoc sighed, his back was killing him. He'd been dragged all over Central by the Major's younger sisters. He shuddered at the memory. FullMetal so enjoyed torturing him. He was almost back to the office. He just wanted to see Roy one more time before he headed home for the night. Maybe he could even steal the raven-haired man away for a date.

"A real date," Jean smiled to himself. They hadn't gone on one yet.

"Yo, Jean," Breda waved as he and Falman walked down the hallway. "We're going out tonight, you wanna join us?"

"Nope," the blonde smiled. "I've got plans."

"That girlfriend of yours?" the redhead asked and Havoc nodded. "Alright, alright, but if you change your mind, we'll be at the usual bar," he paused, "if you even remember where it is," he crossed his arms, but he was smiling.

"Okay, okay," the blonde waved to the men as they turned the corner. He walked toward the office, but stopped when he heard voices. The door wasn't open, but, curiosity getting the better of him, he placed his ear to the door.

"And?" he heard Roy say flatly.

"Well, I'm just wondering why you let Blondie, but you've never let me," that was the Brigadier General. "I know it's not that I lacked the skill."

"What are you getting at, Hughes?" came Roy's voice again.

"C'mon, Roy," there was a pause. "Let me do it just once." Havoc felt an angry heat prickle its way up the back of his neck.

"Tell him 'no,' Roy," Havoc whispered harshly, willing his lover to hear.

"Just once?" Mustang's voice sounded…hopeful?

"Roy…" Havoc backed away from the door. Was he merely a plaything? Was Roy still doing things with the Brigadier General? How long had he been deceived? Roy had never said that he'd stopped doing things with Hughes. Jean's eyes stung. His chest hurt. He took off down the hallway, he didn't want to hear what happened next.

"Yo, Jean!" Breda called as the blonde pushed passed him. "What's your hurry?" The blonde turned back toward the men, tears rolling down his cheeks. "He's been dumped!" Breda's eyes widened. This was something they were used to. It was hard to deal with an in-love Havoc, but handling a just-dumped Havoc was their area of expertise.

"You're coming with us," Falman put a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"C'mon man," Breda lead the blonde down the hallway and out of the building.

* * *

"C'mon, Roy," he lifted the Colonel's chin so they were looking eye-to-eye. "Let me do it just once."

"Just once?" Mustang pouted and a large grin broke out on Hughes' face. "Absolutely not." Maes' face fell.

"Seriously?" Hughes raised an eyebrow.

"Seriously." Roy answered. "Do you think I'm some sort of hussy?"

"Well…"

"Shut up," the Colonel rolled his eyes.

"Alright," Maes sat on the front of the Colonel's desk. "I can take a hint," he shook his head and took his glasses off, rubbing his eyes. "Is Blondie really all that great?" Roy stopped and thought for a moment, a small smile graced his lips.

"Yes."

* * *

"How many shots has he had?" Falman stared a very tipsy Havoc.

"I lost count at thirteen," Breda shook his head. "That girl must have torn his heart out of his ass," he sighed and cringed when Havoc whimpered and took another shot.

"How is his tolerance?" Fuery popped up out of nowhere.

"He used to handle his liquor pretty well," Falman answered, "but it's been awhile."

"Do you think we should stop him?" Fuery questioned.

"That would probably be a good idea," Breda took the bottle of alcohol away from his inebriated friend. The bartender and had long-since left the bottle for the blonde. The bar was too busy for him to go back and refill the poor man's glass. "Hey, man" the redhead grabbed Havoc's shoulder. "How about we get you home?"

"No…" he whined and slumped over the bar until his cheek was pressed against the cool bar top.

"Hey guys," a familiar voice came from behind them, "I'll make sure he gets home." Normally, the soldiers would have questioned how a teenager had gained access to the bar and they would have questioned why the young alchemist would make such an offer, but the three were so tired already, they just nodded.

"He's all yours," Breda said to FullMetal. "Good luck," he added as they exited the bar.

"Luck's gonna have nothing to do with it," Edward smiled at their retreating forms.

* * *

Havoc's head was killing him. He opened his eyes slowly and hissed at the blinding light of day. He turned on his side and buried his head in his pillow. There was something hard underneath, which made it very difficult to get comfortable. He lifted the pillow and his blue eyes widened. There was an automail arm beneath it. His gaze traveled up the arm to the body attached. He was in bed with a very naked (and very under-age) Edward Elric.

"Shit," Havoc whispered. He looked down and found himself in a similar state of undress. He pulled the sheet up to his chest. "Shit, shit, shit, shit," he whispered over and over again. "I wouldn't have," he looked at the angelic face of the sleeping demon, "I couldn't have," he swallowed a lump in his throat, "could I?"

Jean gathered up his clothing and sneaked out of the older Elric's hotel room. He was so unbelievably late for work. It had to be at least eleven by now. He was going to get an earful from the Colonel. He froze in the lobby. The Colonel. How was he going to tell him? How could he have done that? Then he remembered what had happened the night before, well, at least some of it. He remembered the conversation he had overheard between the Brigadier General and HIS Roy.

"Is he even mine anymore?" Jean put his head in his hands. What right did he have to be upset with Roy when he had done the very same thing? "And with a minor," he hung in head in shame. "I am going to be court-martialed for sure."

* * *

Edward stretched lazily like a cat. He looked to his side and saw that Havoc had left already.

"Damn," the short blonde sighed, "I wanted to tease him some more before he left." Edward smiled as he recalled the previous night's events. He'd followed Havoc to bar and watched the older man become completely wasted. His supposed comrades seemed in a hurry to leave, so he'd offered to escort the drunken Lieutenant home.

"Too bad he fell asleep before we could do anything," Edward sighed again and rolled onto his back.

***Flashback***

_"C'mon, Havoc, let's get you home," Edward sighed. He was hoping to have a little fun with the Lieutenant, but he was being such a sad-sack that it put a damper on any teasing he'd had in mind._

_"I don't wanna go home," Jean sniffled. "I don't wanna go to work tomorrow," he burst into tears. "Roy doesn't love me anymore…" he began crying loudly and passersby began to take notice._

_"I'm sure he still loves you," the alchemist rolled his eyes._

_"No, he and B-Brigadier General," he couldn't finish, he was crying so sloppily, it was hard to understand anything that he was saying._

_"Wow, you cry really ugly," Edward said, but it only caused the older man to burst into fresh tears. "Hey, where do you live, anyway?" Havoc sniffled and pointed straight out. He stood like that for a few seconds and then swung his arm to point in the opposite direction. Edward rolled his eyes. "Okay…I guess we can go back to my hotel room."_

_(AN: Try not to think too hard about why Ed and Al are still in a hotel room and why they haven't been sent on any missions in a month…)_

_"O-okay," Havoc was pathetic. Ed just sighed again and dragged the inebriated Lieutenant to his hotel room. Once they arrived, the older man just fell face-first onto the bed._

_"Hold on, you idiot," the alchemist growled. "You can't sleep in your uniform." Havoc made a muffled reply into the comforter and flopped onto his back. He just held his arms up. Edward rolled his eyes and grabbed the ends of the older blonde's sleeves. With great effort (and minimal transmutation) he'd managed to get the Lieutenant's jacket and black undershirt off._

_"Th'nks…" Havoc slurred._

_"Yeah, yeah," Ed threw the clothing on the floor. Then he untied the older man's boots and tossed them and his socks onto the pile. He reached up to unbutton the Lieutenant's fly, but he paused, a faint blush heating his cheeks. Sure, Edward talked a big game about wanting to join the Colonel's club, but he'd never undressed a man before. He took a deep breath and undid the older blonde's pants. He grabbed the cuffs of his blue uniform pants and pulled backwards. They didn't budge. "Lift your ass, Havoc!" Edward growled._

_"S'rry…." The older man turned on his side._

_"No, don't turn over," the alchemist was getting frustrated. "Lay on your back and lift your ass up!" He'd said that a bit loudly. His brother was only a wall away, after all. "Havoc," he whispered harshly, "help me get your pants off."_

_"S'rry, F'Metal," the shots had finally taken their full effect. Havoc was completely out of it. He managed to flip onto his back and lifted his hips just as the teen pulled his pants off. Edward blushed._

_"Geez, Havoc, I didn't realize you went commando," the young blonde waggled his eyebrows, but Jean was too far gone to get embarrassed. "Alright, get under the covers," he helped the older man get his legs onto the bed, but only managed to get one leg under the sheet._

_"Mmm…" Havoc said. It may have been a 'thank you.' It was then that Edward really took notice of the older man's body. Havoc was tall and had lean muscle. Golden eyes traced a path from the light blonde stubble on the Lieutenant's face, down his broad chest and long torso, until he reached…_

_"He's big," Edward hummed in appreciation. "No wonder the Colonel likes him so much," he blushed, embarrassed that he'd said that out loud. It wouldn't hurt to touch it, right? It's not like the older man would notice. Ed reached forward and traced a finger along its length. Havoc grunted in his sleep, but did not stir. Edward got braver. He wrapped his hand around the older blonde's member and began to stroke slowly._

_"Hah…" Havoc moaned and drew his brows together, but the Lieutenant still did not awaken. Now the alchemist was curious…how big would it get? He began to pump a little faster and he squeezed his hand a bit tighter. He was doing it how he liked it. "Ah…mmm…" Havoc thrust his hips forward, "Roy!" he gasped and then turned on his side, wrapping the alchemist in a huge bear hug._

_"Get off of me!" Edward flailed his arms and legs. He hadn't even finished what he was doing. Havoc mumbled something against his hair and Ed wriggled out of his grasp and turned toward him. He was still, amazingly, asleep. "What?" he asked._

_"Love you…" Havoc breathed "…Roy…"_

_"You idiot," Ed rolled away from the Lieutenant and took his jacket off. Then he got a wicked idea. He didn't have to do anything with the older man, but he could certainly pretend that he had. He quickly threw his clothes onto the floor and crawled back into bed. He'd just wait until the older man woke up and then he'd put on a show. Of course, it was pretty late…and he was pretty tired…_

* * *

Havoc knew he couldn't sneak into the office. He knew that it was 11:30 and his report time was 08:00. He also knew that, apart from what he'd seen when he woke up, he had no idea what had transpired the night before. He didn't bother knocking when he reached the office door. He simply opened the door and ignored the stares from his comrades. He walked over to his seat and immediately began working on his piles of papers.

"Havoc," Mustang's voice came from the desk at the far end of the office.

"Yessir," Jean stood up without looking at his superior officer.

"You're three and a half hours late," said as if it were a simple observation.

"Yessir," the blonde still didn't make eye contact.

"Please stay back and see me during lunch," the Colonel said and Havoc sat back down. Thirty minutes later, the other soldiers filed out of the office. Breda tried to get Havoc's attention, but the blonde was still staring at that first piece of paperwork. "Havoc?" Mustang called from the front. The blonde set his pen down and stood up. He slowly walked toward the desk, eyes downcast. "Explain yourself."

"I went out with the guys last night," Havoc stated, emotionless. "I drank far too much and slept in this morning."

"Is that all?" Mustang raised an eyebrow. Havoc's head throbbed. "Jean, look at me." Blue eyes snapped up to meet the Colonel's. "What happened to you? You're wearing the same uniform from yesterday and you reek of alcohol…if you're going to be this late, you may as well have showered and changed."

"I didn't go home," Havoc looked away again.

"Then how did Breda manage to get here on time?" the dark-haired man questioned.

"I didn't stay with Heymans," the blonde turned his head to the side, afraid that the Colonel would be able to read his features.

"Then who did you stay with?" Roy lost his authoritative tone. Concern showed on his boyish features. "Jean, who were you with last night?"

"Good morning, Colonel," Edward's voice came from the door way. Both men looked over at the state's youngest alchemist. "Nice to see you again, Havoc," the young blonde grinned from ear to ear. "I wish you would have stayed back long enough to kiss me good-bye," he pouted. Roy's eyes widened. He looked from blonde to blonde. Edward only smiled, while Havoc refused to meet his eyes.

"You were with him?" Roy's throat felt dry. "How much did you drink last night?"

"A lot!" Edward answered for him. He walked across the office to the Colonel's desk. "He almost forgot to take it easy on me," he put a hand on Havoc's arm and the older man stiffened. "It was my first time, after all…" He wrapped both arms around the Lieutenant's. "Jean, next time, let's make it to the bed first, okay?" Roy stood up and slammed his hands down on the desk.

"FullMetal, please leave the office," Roy's face was downcast, his bangs blocking his eyes from view.

"Oh, Colonel, I just wanted to give Jean a proper good-bye kiss," the alchemist grinned. Mustang had no choice. If FullMetal wasn't going to leave, then he was going to remove him from the equation.

"Havoc, you are not in proper uniform and you reek of alcohol," Roy said again. "I order you to take a shower," he walked around his desk and grabbed the taller man. He wrenched him away from the teenager and pulled him out of the office, leaving a slightly stunned, but smirking Edward in their wake.

Not a word was spoken during their march to the showers. Havoc had trouble keeping up with the Colonel and ended up being half-dragged behind him. They reached the 5th floor showers. No one was there. They were finally alone.

"Jean…" Roy's voice was raw with emotion. "Is what he said, true?" Havoc didn't reply. He couldn't meet his lover's eyes. "Jean, look at me."

"I don't remember anything from last night," the blonde answered, still looking away. "The only thing I remember is leaving the bar and then I woke up next to FullMetal this morning."

"How could you have slept with him?" Mustang didn't know whether to be sad or angry. He was both. "After all of that talk about not being enough for me? Am I not enough for you?"

"Don't turn that shit on me, Roy," Havoc finally looked at him. His eyes were burning. "I overheard you and the Brigadier General last night," he paused, "don't you dare be pissed at me, when you're still fucking him."

"Are you insane?" Roy threw his arms in the air. "Maes and I have never-"

"Bullshit," Havoc growled, "I know that you were still seeing him after we got together, so why would you stop?" he balled his fists. "It's not like you ever said we were exclusive, anyway," his voice lost its bite at the end. His hands relaxed at his sides. "I heard him ask if he could fuck you and you said yes…" Mustang didn't say a word, he just pushed Havoc, fully clothed, into the hot stream of water. "Roy – the hell?"

"How can I prove to you that you're the only one I need?" the Colonel took his jacket off and followed him into the shower stall. "You're the only one…" he breathed as he leaned in and kissed the blonde, his tongue slipping past his lips. He ignored the stale taste of alcohol. He unbuttoned the taller man's jacket and undid his pants. All the while, he mouth never leaving Jean's. Finally, Roy knelt down, a determined look on his boyish features.

"Roy…?" Jean looked down, his eyes were glazed over with lust.

"This…" he pulled his lover's slowly hardening member out, "is MINE." He growled and wrapped his lips around it.

"Shit, Roy!" Jean gasped and nearly cracked his head against the shower tiles. "Hah…that's good…" he moaned. The Colonel swallowed his length and then pulled back, letting his tongue drag along the underside. "Don't-" Jean tried to warn him, "I want-"

"What do you want?" Roy asked, looking up at his lover. The view before him was so incredibly hot. The Colonel's undershirt was soaked through to where his pink nipples were completely visible. And a string of spit still connected Jean's member to his lover's mouth.

"I wanna fuck you until you can't stand," Havoc growled and pulled his lover to his feet, crushing his lips in a bruising kiss.

The water had long-since gone cold, but it didn't bother either of the two men. Roy was desperately trying to gain purchase against the slippery wall behind him, finally grasping onto the top of the shower stall. Roy's boots, pants and underwear had joined his jacket on the floor just outside the now-closed curtain. His white undershirt had been ripped open and was clinging to his pale skin. Jean growled as he forcefully thrust into his lover.

"J-Jean," Roy gasped and threw his head back. Luckily, the Lieutenant was still wearing his boots, which proved quite slip-resistant against the slippery tile floor, this allowed him to fuck Roy as hard and as fast as he wanted. The blonde's pants and underwear were around his ankles, forgotten. His jacket was beginning to get heavy with the amount of water it'd soaked up. He momentarily stopped thrusting to tear it off while Roy helped pull his equally soaked black undershirt off and threw it to the side.

"Roy," the blonde growled again before crushing his lover's lips in another forceful kiss. "This…" he pulled his member completely out of his lover and slowly teased the other man's opening with the tip, "is MINE!" he growled, punctuating his statement by completely thrusting into his lover. Roy would have laughed at the irony, but he was lost in how good it felt.

"Jean," Roy rested his forehead against the blonde, panting. "I'm so close…" he sounded frustrated. The blonde moved a hand from under his lover's ass and reached for his member. "No!" the Colonel shouted. "I want you to make me cum without it," he gasped, his onyx eyes completely glazed over with lust.

"Yessir," Havoc smirked and changed his angle slightly, causing the dark-haired man to arch his back away from the shower wall.

"Shit!" Roy moaned. "Again!" he arched his back and nearly screamed when the Lieutenant found that spot again. "Jean…cumming!" he moaned before he reached his peak, his vision going completely white for a second. Slowly, his lover's face came back into focus, just in time for Roy to watch Jean climax. If he hadn't already, that sight alone would have gotten him off. Havoc rested his head in the crook of Roy's neck.

"I love you," he said, his breath tickling the over-sensitized flesh of Roy's collarbone.

"What?" the Colonel was still in a slight haze.

"I love you, Roy," Havoc pulled back and looked him in the eyes. "There will never be anyone else," he said seriously and then smiled. It was the smile that Roy loved most. The smile that said 'Everything will be alright.'

"I love you, too," Mustang rested his head against his Havoc's shoulder, too tired to hold it up anymore.

"You don't have to say that…" Jean swallowed. Roy could hear the taller man's heartbeat pounding rhythmically.

"Yes I do," the Colonel turned his head so he could look up at his lover. "Because I do."

"Well, this is adorable, really," a familiar voice came from beyond the curtain. It was Maes Hughes. "But the cadets have just finished their training and twenty-five of them are headed for these showers, so I suggest you two get your clothes on and discuss this sensitive matter in a more appropriate location."

"Why is he here?" Havoc's shoulders dropped. He slowly set the Colonel down until the older man could stand on his own.

"I don't know, but we'd better do as he says before we have twenty-five more teenagers with something to hold over our heads," Roy shook his head and began gathering their fallen clothes.

* * *

RenaiPink: Ta da! Finally! An on-camera sex scene! Sorry that this chapter is a bajillion words long. I think Chapter 9 is o pretty long as well. I hope you all like it!

Side note: I have a chapter out for every day of this month. Chapters 1-6 were on the 1st, but 7 came out on the 7th and now 8 is out on the 8th. I guess I'll have to post Chapter 9 tomorrow~

I have both Chapter 9 and 10 done. I should have them up soon!


	9. Chapter 9

Flames of Desire: A Completely Inappropriate FMA Yaoi

Starring: Colonel Roy Mustang, 2nd Lieutenant Jean Havoc (Jean has made it to "starring" status!)

Co-Starring: Brigadier General Maes Hughes, Edward Elric

With appearances by: Alphonse Elric, 2nd Lt. Heymans Breda, Warrant Officer Vato Falman, Sergeant Major Kain Fuery, Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, Winry Rockbell, Major Armstrong

Takes place: At no REAL point in time during either series…

Notes from RenaiPink: Yay for Jean and Roy finally doing it on screen~ But why is Maes there? Hmm... This chapters wraps everything up and Chapter 10 is kind of an epilogue (well...next day epilogue) Anyway...enjoy~!

* * *

Chapter 9: "Only You"

Havoc and Mustang had just gotten their clothes on when twenty-five military cadets came crashing into the showers. Some paused for a second to stare at their soaking-wet superiors, but Hughes had an answer for them.

"Boys, thank the Colonel and the Lieutenant for stopping the leak," Maes gestured to the soldiers. "You should have seen this place before you all got here." He chuckled and then began ushering the lovers out of the showers. He continued thanking them for stopping the leak the entire walk back to Mustang's office. They got several stares, but everyone heard Maes coming and didn't question why the two men were dripping.

"Thank you, Maes," Roy said once they made it back into the office. The others had returned from lunch some time ago and now stared up at their superior officer and comrade.

"Colonel, what happened to you?" Riza Hawkeye's eyes were wide.

"These two stopped a huge leak in the men's showers," Hughes explained for what felt like the fifteenth time.

"Why were you in the showers?" Breda raised an eyebrow.

"I asked them to check the leak for me," Maes was fast.

"Begging your pardon, General, but don't we have repair men on staff that normally take care of those sorts of things?" Fuery scratched his head.

"Yes, well, it was an emergency," the Brigadier General knew that he was losing the room. How was he going to convince them? Roy had selected them because they were the best.

"You don't have to lie," Edward's voice drifted from the doorway. Havoc and Mustang froze. Hadn't he put them through enough today? "You can tell them that the Colonel and I were sparring out in the yard," the short teen walked into the room. "Water beats fire every time," he grinned and crossed his arms over his chest.

"And Havoc?" Falman questioned.

"Collateral damage," Edward shrugged. "He was standing too close." The team seemed to believe FullMetal's story.

"Well, you two should get changed," Riza mothered. "Before you catch a cold."

"You can change in my office," Hughes volunteered. "I have something to ask you anyway, Colonel," he slapped the dark-haired man on the back and it made a wet smack. "C'mon you two," Maes dragged them from the office. Havoc just caught sight of FullMetal's smirk before the door closed behind them.

They walked through the large building, taking as many back hallways as they could, until they finally made it to the Brigadier General's office. Once inside, Hughes walked toward his desk and pulled out a duffle bag. Inside he had extra undershirts and some gym clothes.

"It's not the best, but at least they're all dry," he said as he tossed the clothes at the men. A few minutes later both Havoc and Mustang were dry and clothed. "So…that was an ordeal," Maes chuckled. "It's a good thing I found you before the cadets did," he laughed again, clearing his throat at the awkwardness of the situation.

"Thank you, Maes," Roy said quietly, a blush adorning his cheeks.

"Yes, thank you," Havoc said, though he didn't sound quite as grateful, "by the way, General, what were you doing the men's showers right then?" his voice laced with suspicion (and, let's face it, a bit of jealousy)

"Well, you see," Hughes began, "I was on my way to Roy's office to apologize for…" he paused, "my reprehensible behavior last night." He turned toward Mustang. "I was being an ass, I shouldn't have asked you that." Mustang waved a hand in dismissal, but Havoc still looked pretty pissed about it. "Anyway, I saw my best friend dragging you down the hallway and neither one of you looked very happy…I thought it was about what I said, so I followed you to make things right."

"So you were there the whole time," Havoc stated flatly.

"Hold on, Blondie, let me explain," the green-eyed man never got angry, but he was starting to get a little miffed. "I followed you into the showers and heard your argument," he sighed, "which made me feel even worse because it was about the stupid things I said," he took his glasses off and wiped them on his shirt. "Of course, your argument…ended and I took my leave."

"I see…" Havoc was still on the defensive, but didn't start a fight.

"I was waiting outside until you two were, um…finished," he blushed slightly, "but then I saw the training team walking down the hallway talking about how there weren't enough showers on the third floor and they'd need to send some of their cadets upstairs."

"Ah," Havoc had no argument for that.

"I'm sorry again for what I said last night, Roy," Maes turned his attention to the flame alchemist. "I just hadn't seen you in a while and I was getting a little…" he glanced at Havoc, "jealous." The blonde didn't show it, but inside he was beaming. "I'm sorry that I made the two of you fight."

"Well, you weren't the only reason we were fighting," Roy shot a glance over at Jean and then looked back at Hughes, "so don't worry yourself over it." Hughes hadn't missed that exchange. He'd be damned if anyone hurt his best friend in any way.

"So, what did Blondie do?" Hughes whispered loudly.

"Please don't talk as if I'm not here!" Jean growled.

"Silence, cheater!" Maes shouted at him.

"What, how did you?" Havoc's eyes were wide.

"I may have come to Roy's office a little earlier than I originally said," the tall man cleared his throat. "I didn't catch you in the hallway…I made it to your office just in time to hear Edward's little story."

"You are unbelievable," Havoc sat back, dumbfounded.

"Actually, I found his story unbelievable," Maes rubbed his chin. "Especially since I heard him talking to Alphonse before he even made it to the office."

'Thank goodness you're omnipresent,' Havoc thought sarcastically, but if the General had answers for them, he was willing to listen.

***Flashback***

_ "Al, do you think I should limp a bit more?" Edward asked with a giggle as they approached the Colonel's office._

_ "Limp? Why? Does your automail need to be adjusted?" Al cocked his head to the side._

_ "No," Edward rolled his eyes, "didn't I tell you that the Lieutenant stayed over last night?" Alphonse nodded. "Well, I want to play a little game."_

_ "Brother, haven't you bothered the Lieutenant and the Colonel enough?" Al shook his head._

_ "Listen, Havoc probably thinks that he slept with me," the older alchemist giggled. "I just want to make sure that the Colonel knows about it."_

_ "But you said that nothing happened," Alphonse crossed his arms over his chest._

_ "I know that, but they don't and it's the perfect way to get back at them," FullMetal rubbed his hands together deviously._

_ "Brother, I will have no part of this," Al said angrily, "and I suggest that you march in there and tell them what happened," he paused, "what really happened."_

_ "Yeah, yeah," Ed waved his hand in dismissal. "Why don't you head back and meet up with Winry in town."_

_ "You're going to do the right thing…right?" Al said in a small voice._

_ "Of course," Edward grinned at his brother. "I'll make sure to tell them exactly what happened," he waved as Al retreated down the hallway. "Later," Ed added once his brother was out of earshot._

* * *

"That little brat…" Roy ground out, fuming. "When I get a hold of him, I'm going to tear his automail off and throw it out of the window," he clenched his fists. "I'd like to see him hop his way down five flights of stairs."

"I think that might be overdoing it," Maes scratched his head.

"But do you know what this means?" Havoc smiled wide. "It means that I didn't sleep with him, after all!" he laughed and then blushed when Hughes raised an eyebrow at him. "I was really, really drunk," he explained.

"So, I'm the only one, then?" Roy turned toward his lover, forgetting his anger and that his best friend was still in the room.

"Only you," the blonde smiled and leaned in for a kiss, which was interrupted by the third wheel clearing his throat.

"Gentlemen, I have a feeling that you'd like to get back at FullMetal, yes?" Maes said and the two nodded. "I think I may have an idea…"

* * *

The plan was simple. They were ready. They even had an emergency back-up in case anything didn't go according to plan. Now, all they had to do was wait.

Colonel Mustang sat back in his chair. The office had been empty for some time. Everyone had gone home for the day, but not without letting him hear it for losing a match to FullMetal. He'd even managed to find time to get a spare uniform from the cleaners across the street. He was ready. He just hoped that Jean was ready, too. The blonde wasn't exactly grace under fire…especially when that particular fire came in the shape of the FullMetal Alchemist. Roy was so deep in thought that he barely heard the door open. It wasn't until Edward was right in front of him, that he even acknowledged the boy.

"Evenin', Colonel," Edward smiled cheekily, resting a hand against the older man's desk. "How was your shower?" he chuckled. Roy said nothing. "I hope you didn't mind getting my sloppy seconds," the teen batted his golden eyelashes, an innocent smile playing on his lips. Still, Roy said nothing. "C'mon, now, _Roy_," Ed stressed his first name, "where's Mr. Flame Alchemist to get all fired up?" he cocked his head to side. "Unless you're perfectly fine with Jean fucking me on the side?" That was it. Roy had waited long enough. Now it would be believable.

"I am not at all 'fine' with it," the Colonel growled deep in his throat.

"Hmm," the teenager pursed his lips, "that's too bad, though, isn't it?" He laughed. "You two work for me now, remember?" Roy crossed his arms over his chest and huffed. "And, you owe me a little something extra for covering for you two this afternoon," he leaned against the desk so his face was mere centimeter's from the Colonel's. "So…what'll it be?"

"You are adamant about joining our little club, aren't you?" Roy rested his cheek against his fist and smiled. "I suppose you have waited long enough…"

"I'll say," Edward said and then paused. "Wait…what?"

"You're right, you know…" Roy stood up from behind his desk and walked around so that he was in front of the blonde. "I'm not fine with what happened because it's not fair."

"Not fair…?" Ed repeated, but he was confused.

"Yes," Roy walked closer to him, causing the blonde to step backwards. Ed stopped when his lower back came in contact with the Colonel's desk. "Jean's gotten to play with our newest member and I haven't," the dark-haired man pouted. Golden eyes widened. "You still want to play with me, right?" Ed's face flushed. He stuttered, but nothing coherent escaped his lips. "I'll show you everything you need to do, okay?" Roy purred.

"Everything?" Ed found his voice. "What do you mean?"

"Well, it's really easy to be the one getting pleasured, but it's much harder to give it," Mustang leaned closer and watched as Edward swallowed nervously. "You'll have to prepare me first, you know." The blonde was visibly shaking now. "What's wrong, Ed, didn't you want to be in our club?"

"I think he prefers to be on bottom, Roy," Havoc's voice came from the doorway.

"Jean, I thought you'd gone home," the Colonel pouted.

"I was going to, but I just can't get last night out of my head," the older blonde smiled as he walked across the room. "I wish I could remember it," he chuckled and Ed's heart skipped a beat. "Today was pretty good, too, of course," he breathed against the Colonel's ear, causing the dark-haired man to moan and lean back into his touch. "But I have an idea for something that could be even better."

"Um, I wasn't exactly expecting all this," Edward was finally over his initial shock. "You two really want to do those things…with me?" They nodded. "Okay," he smiled. "Let me just," the teen began as he started to take off his coat. Mustang felt Havoc's arm tighten around his shoulders. The plan wasn't working. He still wanted it.

"You want to do it here?" Roy cleared his throat.

"Why not?" Edward asked, untying his boot, "Isn't this where you normally do it?" Roy could feel Jean's heart pounding against his back. "Besides, I've been practicing," he smirked and gently caressed the Colonel's cheek with this automail hand. It felt cold and the older man shuddered.

"Practicing?" Roy gulped.

"Yeah, and I've been doing a lot of reading, too," Ed reached to unbutton his pants.

"I hope you're not starting without me," the Brigadier General's voice interrupted. Three faces turned his way. Two showed relief while the youngest showed annoyance.

"Hmm, I hadn't planned on all three of you at once," the alchemist put a finger to his chin. "I guess we can cross that bridge when we come to it," he grinned. Maes looked taken aback. Even his appearance was not enough to deter the young blonde.

"You're completely fine with this?" Havoc finally spoke again. Edward nodded. "You're completely fine with three men nearly twice your age taking advantage of you?"

"I told you before that I wanna feel good, too," Edward rolled his eyes, beginning to get annoyed. "And besides, since I didn't really come prepared tonight, I think I'd rather just watch the three of you do it, first." They froze. The three men exchanged glances. "C'mon already," Edward reached for his fly again. "Show me how to do it."

"Plan B?" Jean whispered to Roy. He nodded, without looking back. Jean turned toward Maes and nodded. The Brigadier General smiled.

"Edward, we really shouldn't get started until everyone is here," Hughes grinned when Ed gave him a confused looked. "Besides, we promised our other new member that he could show you everything," his eyes closed into foxlike slits. "You can come in now," Maes called over his shoulder.

"Who…" but before the young blonde could finish his question, the door to the room flew open.

"Young Edward, I heard that you were in need of some lessons!" came the Major's booming jovial voice.

"The Major?" Edward's eyes were the size of saucers. He turned toward Roy who nodded.

"I'd be happy to show you how to-" Armstrong paused as the blonde flew past him and out of the office. "Was it something I said?" the large man asked and the other three just chuckled.

"No, I don't think he wants to learn your technique for perfect biceps, Major," Roy shook his head.

"But it's been handed down the Armstrong family for generations!" he sighed. "Ah, well, I suppose I could teach the three of you."

"Actually, I'm late for dinner," Maes patted the large man on the shoulder as he walked out of the office. "Gracia will kill me if I'm late again."

"What about you two?" the large man turned toward Havoc and Mustang, hopeful sparkles seemed to twinkle beside his eyes.

"Um, we were just about to...uh..." Havoc started.

"We have a thing," Mustang finished for him. "Which we're late for, so we'll see you tomorrow, Major!" the dark-haired man waved as he dragged the Lieutenant behind him out of the office.

"Well," Armstrong said to himself. "I suppose I can re-teach the technique to myself!" he proclaimed and began counting push-ups.

* * *

RenaiPink: LOL. Oh, Major Armstrong...that's twice he's made me literally laugh-out-loud (and I wrote it!) I hope you guys enjoyed this! Just so you know, RenaiBlue is a huge EdxRoy pairing fan...so you can imagine her disappointment at how this scene turned out. Never fear, RenaiPink is here! So, there will be a one-shot posted of how Ed's encounter with Roy and Jean COULD have gone. It's pretty steamy, actually...

Anyway...one chapter left to go! It's really short, too. Just sort of wraps things up. I hope you all have enjoyed this silly story. I think it was a good mix of comedy and romance (and a little sex, too) Okay, RenaiPink signing out for the night!


	10. Chapter 10

Flames of Desire: A Completely Inappropriate FMA Yaoi

Starring: Colonel Roy Mustang, 2nd Lieutenant Jean Havoc (Jean has made it to "starring" status!)

Co-Starring: Brigadier General Maes Hughes, Edward Elric

With appearances by: Alphonse Elric, 2nd Lt. Heymans Breda, Warrant Officer Vato Falman, Sergeant Major Kain Fuery, Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye, Winry Rockbell, Major Armstrong

Takes place: At no REAL point in time during either series…

Notes from RenaiPink: Okay! It's the end!

* * *

Chapter 10: "The End"

"You're sure you don't want to say goodbye before we go?" Alphonse asked as he, Edward and Winry waited to board their train home. They'd gotten wind of something back in Resembool that they just had to investigate.

"Nope, I'm perfectly fine just leaving," Ed said without turning toward his younger brother.

"Brother, you didn't even say a word when the Colonel was giving us our orders," the suit of armor shook his head. "You didn't end up telling him the truth, did you?"

"That has nothing to do with it," the shorter Elric growled. "I just don't feel like saying goodbye, okay?"

"If you had just let it go from the beginning, you could have avoided a lot of trouble," Al sighed.

"What are you two talking about?" Winry raised an eyebrow.

"Nothing," the Elrics said together.

* * *

"He did not look happy this morning," Havoc chuckled as he sat on the edge of the Colonel's desk.

"No, Jean, he did not," the dark-haired man stifled a chuckle. "Anyway, where would you like to go for lunch?"

"I think I'd rather stay here and eat something else…" Jean leaned against the desk and kissed his lover. Roy smiled at him as they broke the kiss.

"I believe that can be arranged," he purred and pulled the blonde in for another kiss.

"I can't believe I left my wallet in my-" Heymans Breda said and then stopped. The two lovers pulled apart and slowly turned toward the red-headed intruder. "Jean, you and the Colonel?" his eyes were wide.

"Heymans, I can explain," Jean held his hands out in front of his chest.

"Listen, I don't care what you do," he said as he walked over to his desk and grabbed his wallet. "As long as you're happy," Breda said and Havoc smiled. "And Colonel?"

"Yes?" the dark-haired man sat up a little straighter.

"Take good care of him, okay?" Heymans pointed at Roy, who nodded. "You don't pay me nearly enough to take him out drinking every time you two have a fight…" he shook his head and walked out of the office.

"We've really got to find a better place to do these kinds of things," Jean said once his best friend had left.

"We can always go to my place…" Roy suggested and Jean grinned.

"I'd like that."

* * *

RenaiPink: GAH! Cheesy ending is cheesy… I really hope that everyone liked this! This story had so much eavesdropping and people walking in on other people, I should rename it Downtown Abbey orz lol. (Slam at DA out of nowhere) Anyway, I like how it turned. I just hope everyone else does, too.


End file.
